Jimmy Kimmel on Melania & Donald Trump Demanding His Firing & The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

[0:05] Very nice. [0:14] Sometimes you wake up in the morning [0:17] and the First Lady puts out a statement [0:19] demanding you be fired from your job. [0:22] We've all been there, right? [0:24] You've been there, right, Guillermo? [0:26] Yeah, sure. [0:28] What a day. [0:29] As you know, they had to cancel the White House [0:32] Correspondents' Dinner in Washington on Saturday night [0:34] after a man with multiple guns and knives [0:38] crashed the party and may have shot a Secret Service officer. [0:43] Fortunately, the guy was wearing a bulletproof vest [0:45] and is okay. [0:46] They're not sure exactly what happened, [0:48] but they got the guy. [0:48] He was charged today. [0:50] No one was hurt, thank goodness. [0:51] A lot of people were shaken up on a night [0:54] that is supposed to be lighthearted. [0:56] The White House Correspondents' Dinner, if you don't know, [0:57] it used to be an annual event before Trump showed up, [1:00] but every year they'd have a comedian roast the room. [1:03] The president, the vice president, members of the press, [1:05] everybody got roast. [1:06] I did it once, I hosted it, it was a lot of fun. [1:08] But this year, they said, no comedian, [1:11] we're bringing in a mentalist instead. [1:13] So on Thursday, three days before the event, [1:17] in order to keep that cherished tradition alive, [1:19] I did my own version of the Correspondents' Dinner on my show. [1:23] I put on a tuxedo. [1:24] We pretended we had an audience of luminaries. [1:28] We used old footage of the Trumps, of Pete Hegseth, J.D. Vance, [1:32] Kid Rock, Vanilla Ice, all the members of his cabinet, [1:36] and we made it seem like they were all together in a room. [1:39] We had a little roast. [1:40] Again, this was Thursday, and there was no big reaction to it, [1:43] until this morning, when I greeted the day, [1:46] facing yet another Twitter vomit storm. [1:49] And a call to fire me from our first lady, Melania Trump, [1:54] saying I should be fired because of a joke I made. [1:57] Again, five nights ago, it was a pretend roast. [2:01] I said, our first lady, Melania, is here. [2:03] Look at her, so beautiful. [2:04] Mrs. Trump, you'll have a glow like an expectant widow, [2:07] which obviously was a joke about their age difference [2:14] and the look of joy we see on her face every time [2:17] they're together. [2:18] It was a very light roast joke about the fact [2:20] that he's almost 80 and she's younger than I am. [2:22] It was not, by any stretch of the definition, [2:26] a call to assassination. [2:28] And they know that. [2:29] I've been very vocal for many years speaking out [2:31] against gun violence in particular. [2:34] But I understand that the first lady had a stressful [2:36] experience over the weekend, and probably every weekend [2:39] is pretty stressful in that house. [2:41] And also, I agree that hateful and violent rhetoric [2:44] is something we should reject. [2:46] I do, and I think a great place to start to dial that back [2:50] would be to have a conversation with your husband about it. [2:52] Because I also should point out, Donald Trump [3:01] isn't allowed to say whatever he wants to say, [3:03] as are you and as am I, as are all of us. [3:06] Because under the First Amendment, [3:07] we have, as Americans, a right to free speech. [3:10] But with that said, I am sorry that you and the president [3:16] and everyone in that room on Saturday went through that. [3:19] I really am. [3:19] Just because no one got killed doesn't [3:21] mean it wasn't traumatic and scary. [3:22] And we should come together and be best. [3:25] We really should. [3:26] But if you want us to believe that a joke I made three days [3:29] before this dinner had any effect on anything that happened, [3:33] well, then maybe someone should look into this psychic lady, [3:36] too. [3:37] And this speech tonight will be classic Donald J. Trump. [3:41] It'll be funny. [3:42] It'll be entertaining. [3:43] There will be some shots fired tonight in the room. [3:51] You know who's going to be furious when she hears that? [3:55] White House Press Secretary Carolyn Levitt will be furious. [3:59] This was like deja vu for me today. [4:00] With all the news channels talking about this, [4:03] Brian Stelter of CNN noted, incorrectly, I think, [4:06] that no one from the White House was specifically calling for my head. [4:10] This is this morning. [4:11] I guess the first lady doesn't count. [4:12] But whatever the case, the president cleared that up pretty quickly. [4:16] The administration's calling out Kimball trying to pressure ABC, [4:19] but they're being careful, I think, not to explicitly demand that ABC [4:24] punish him. [4:25] Despite the rhetoric that sometimes becomes very incendiary from the White House, [4:28] and yes, is also incendiary from the left, [4:31] these stress tests have been passed, [4:33] and we have not seen demands for silencing [4:36] be followed through by government censorship. [4:39] Well, Brian, just as we were speaking, [4:42] the president actually put out a note demanding that Jimmy Kimball be fired by ABC. [4:46] Well, in that case, forget everything I just said. [4:51] This really is a shame, because there was a time not so long ago, [5:02] back in 2010, when, believe it or not, [5:05] we sent our man Yahya to a Samsung promotional event in New York, [5:09] where we learned that Donald Trump was a very big fan of mine. [5:13] Hi, Mr. Trump. How are you, sir? [5:15] What are you doing here? [5:16] Well, I'm here to support Samsung and their 3D plasma television. [5:20] Do you want to do it? [5:21] But I'm also here to support Jimmy, because I love Jimmy. [5:23] OK. [5:24] Good to come here. [5:25] Hi, how are you? [5:26] Nice to meet you. [5:27] Yahya, nice to meet you. [5:29] You want to be in my show? [5:30] Well, you know what? [5:31] I happen to love Jimmy. [5:32] Let's do it. [5:33] Come on. [5:34] Well, no, no, no. [5:37] Sadly, his love for me went the way of the Samsung 3D plasma [5:40] television. [5:42] Anyway, what happened on Saturday at an event [5:45] supporting the First Amendment, by the way, [5:49] was so crazy to watch. [5:50] After the gunman was captured, there [5:52] were so many well-known people in a room together, [5:55] and there were cameras on everyone at all times. [5:57] All the journalists, everybody grabbed their phones, [6:00] immediately went into reporter mode. [6:01] It was like a reverse Clark Kent. [6:03] Like, he goes, but the dinner was filmed [6:06] by more different iPhones from more different angles [6:09] than the Torah portion of a bar mitzvah. [6:11] This is video of the Secret Service moving Stephen Miller [6:15] and his wife out of the room, followed by RFK Jr. [6:18] getting whisked away while his wife, Sheryl Hines, [6:21] is in the proverbial dust. [6:26] That's right. [6:28] He cut out of there like he saw a raccoon penis [6:31] on the side of the road. [6:33] But not everyone was in panic mode. [6:35] While most of the attendees were taking cover, [6:38] one guy who turns out to be Wolf Blitzer's agent, [6:41] watch him in the bottom left corner of your screen. [6:44] And the journalists all in the House [6:46] seated very quietly watching this. [6:49] And remember, who is in the room? [6:51] Secretary Pete Hegseth is in that room. [6:53] You've got Scott Besant in that room. [6:56] You have Tulsi Gabbard in that room. [6:58] You, of course, have J.D. Vance in that room, [7:01] naturally the president of the United States. [7:02] And as John mentioned, the White House [7:05] correspondence dinner will be our presently broadcasting from. [7:10] I'm going to have a little bit of salad. [7:13] That, by the way, that would be a great commercial [7:17] for Hidden Valley Ranch. [7:20] Get that agent an agent. [7:21] And while salad was being scarfed, [7:23] this woman was, I don't know, stocking up for the hotel room? [7:27] I don't know what's up. [7:30] I think Cash Patel just found a new assistant. [7:32] Speaking of Cash Patel, you know, [7:34] Cash Patel's the head of the FBI. [7:36] But somehow he wound up outside afterwards, I don't know, [7:39] calling his Uber driver, trying to get his mom [7:41] to come pick him up. [7:43] He seemed kind of lost. [7:44] A lot of people were just lost. [7:46] They didn't know what to do for a while there. [7:48] It was unclear as to whether the dinner would be canceled or not. [7:51] People were just waiting around. [7:52] Then finally, the president of the White House [7:54] Correspondents Association took the stage to say, [7:57] yes, the dinner is canceled and get to work. [8:00] The president will be having a press briefing [8:03] at the White House in 30 minutes. [8:09] That is not a joke. [8:12] The only thing that aren't jokes anymore are jokes, OK? [8:15] It was very strange seeing all the news people who [8:17] were at the event then reporting on the story [8:21] in their tuxedos and ball gowns. [8:22] It's like if a basketball player wore his jersey and shorts [8:26] to dinner after the game. [8:27] The president, one thing about Donald Trump, [8:29] there's nothing he can't turn into a real estate opportunity. [8:32] He immediately turned this into an argument [8:35] in favor of his ballroom. [8:36] He wrote, this event would never have happened [8:39] with the militarily top secret ballroom currently under construction [8:43] at the White House. [8:45] I hate to be the bearer of bad news. [8:46] I'm afraid that top secret ballroom is no longer top secret. [8:52] If it was, he'd be storing it in a shower at Mar-a-Lago. [8:57] And I have to admit something. [9:00] I don't believe for one second that the reason he decided [9:03] to build this ballroom is for security. [9:05] But this was a pretty good argument for building. [9:08] I might be pro ballroom now, weirdly, after this. [9:11] That way, if anything terrible ever happens, [9:13] at least they can dance. [9:15] Less than 24 hours after calling on Americans [9:18] to resolve our differences and praising the warmth he shared [9:22] with the press on Saturday night, Trump sat for an interview [9:25] slash future $80 billion lawsuit with Nora O'Donnell [9:28] of 60 Minutes, where he was asked about this manifesto [9:32] his would-be attacker wrote. [9:33] He also wrote this, I'm no longer willing to permit [9:37] a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands [9:40] with his crimes. [9:41] What's your reaction to that? [9:42] Well, I was waiting for you to read that, [9:44] because I knew you would, because you're horrible people. [9:47] Horrible people. [9:49] Yeah, he did write that. [9:50] I'm not a rapist. [9:52] I didn't rape anybody. [9:54] I'm not a pedophile. [9:55] Do you think he was referring to you? [9:56] Excuse me. [9:56] Excuse me. [9:57] You know, general rule of thumb, [10:07] you know an interview isn't going great [10:08] when you have to say, I'm not a rapist [10:10] and I'm not a pedophile. [10:13] You should be ashamed of yourself reading that, [10:15] because I'm not any of those things. [10:17] Mr. President, these are the gunman's words. [10:18] And I was never, excuse me, excuse me. [10:21] You shouldn't be reading that on 60 Minutes. [10:23] You're a disgrace. [10:24] But go ahead, let's finish the interview. [10:26] The other thing that he wrote in the- [10:27] I guess the honeymoon with the press didn't last. [10:31] It was fun for 11 hours. [10:33] But today, the president and first lady welcomed King Charles [10:36] and Queen Camilla, who arrived at the White House [10:38] to what is scheduled to be a four-day visit [10:41] to the United States. [10:42] Despite the obvious security concerns, [10:44] the king decided to go ahead with the trip. [10:46] He said he'd be damned if he lets anything stand in the way [10:51] of him finally getting his hands on one of those Doritos [10:53] Locos Tacos from Taco Bell. [10:56] And we are, we're very hospitable. [10:59] We wanted to make sure the king's visit was fun. [11:01] So we went out onto Hollywood Boulevard [11:03] to get opinions from folks on the street [11:05] about some things Charles did while he was here, [11:08] even though he hadn't arrived yet. [11:10] And we made all the things up [11:12] for our special King Charles edition of Live Witness News. [11:20] We've seen the clips, King Charles is in America right now. [11:23] Yeah, yeah, I've seen some stuff. [11:25] Oh yeah, that he's here on, [11:27] there's something about like on Instagram [11:29] that his wife is, what's it called? [11:32] She's like some celebrity or something [11:34] and he's coming over here to Hollywood. [11:35] She's a Kardashian. [11:37] Yeah, yeah. [11:37] What did you think of the viral clip [11:39] of King Charles cutting the line [11:41] at Disneyland over the weekend? [11:42] I think he needs to get to the back of the line. [11:45] Everyone needs to wait in line at Disneyland. [11:47] It doesn't matter who you are. [11:48] It is not your right to cut the line at Disneyland, [11:51] King Charles. [11:52] There's only one king at Disneyland and that is Mickey Mouse. [11:55] But what did you think when King Charles gave Donald Trump [11:57] the first ever Buckingham Peace Prize? [12:01] Boy, that was bull . [12:04] Was it something you said to the TV? [12:05] Yeah, like what the ? [12:07] I mean, how the is this possible? [12:09] This corrupt ass , he's just an orange clown. [12:13] I have the right to say it no matter who is offended. [12:15] I'm not trying to offend you, I'm giving you my opinion. [12:18] What did you think of the pictures [12:19] of King Charles on Venice Beach shirtless? [12:22] Did you think the king would have so many back tattoos? [12:25] When I think of King Charles with the tattoos, [12:29] I never thought he would even have a tattoo. [12:31] I don't even have a tattoo myself. [12:33] Here's one with meaning. [12:34] It's Calvin peeing on the 13 original colonies. [12:37] Is that cool for a king to have? [12:40] No, that definitely is not cool to have that tattoo, [12:44] especially a king of England. [12:46] Yeah. [12:47] It's, you know, it's very immature. [12:49] The king of England is a like a pimple waiting to be popped. [12:55] Your opinions are so strong, [12:57] I want to crown you the king of Hollywood Boulevard. [13:00] My lord, well, hold on a minute. [13:01] We're going to do the king. [13:02] Make sure the king doesn't do it right now. [13:05] What would you, as king of Hollywood, [13:07] like to say to the king of England? [13:09] Get the out, this country. [13:11] Go home. [13:12] Learn you some mother manners. [13:14] When you come into my house, [13:17] you take your shoes off at my shoes. [13:20] I'm not these monkeys that you around with. [13:22] I'm the gorilla that will snatch the life [13:25] and put common sense in your ass. [13:28] Thank you, Your Highness. [13:34] All right, we got a good show tonight. [13:35] From Pod Save America, John Lovett is here. [13:38] We'll be right back with Anthony Anderson.