Trump's Concert Turns Into Total Disaster, He Brags About Health Exam & Spencer Pratt's Mayoral Ads

[0:12] Why this is a special day and night? [0:14] Guillermo, Guillermo's not here. [0:16] Guillermo is in San Antonio at NBA Finals Media Day [0:20] covering that for us. [0:22] But that's not why it's a special day. [0:24] Today, and you're not going to believe this, [0:26] it's June already. [0:28] It is June 1st. [0:29] Can you believe that? [0:30] June 1st. [0:31] Can you believe that? [0:32] It is June 1st. [0:33] Can you believe it? [0:34] Oh, my gosh. [0:35] Hard to believe it's already June. [0:36] Hard to believe it's already June. [0:37] June 1st. [0:39] No, it's hard to believe. [0:40] It is June 1st. [0:41] Hard to believe. [0:42] June. [0:43] Hard to believe. [0:44] June. [0:45] Hard to believe. [0:46] National Dairy Month. [0:47] Hard to believe. [0:48] Can you believe we've already made it to June? [0:49] No. [0:50] I can't believe it's already June. [0:51] You know. [0:52] I can't believe it's already June. [0:53] I know. [0:54] Can you believe it's June? [0:55] No. [0:56] It's crazy. [0:57] Can you believe it's June 1st? [0:58] I can't. [0:59] Can you believe it is already June? [1:01] I cannot. [1:02] I can't believe it's already June. [1:03] I cannot believe it's already June. [1:04] June, can you believe? [1:05] June, can you believe? [1:06] June, can you believe? [1:07] June, can you believe? [1:08] June, can you believe? [1:09] June, can you believe? [1:10] Can y'all believe it's already June? [1:11] No. [1:12] That's crazy. [1:13] Are they going to clip that for, what is it, Jimmy Fallon? [1:15] Yeah. [1:16] That's where the chair gets next. [1:19] At this point, I'm just hoping to get my headstone right. [1:22] Do you think these people would have learned by now that the month changes every month? [1:27] How is it possible to have your mind blown every 30 days? [1:31] Speaking of blown minds, Donald Trump's is shot. [1:34] We got a whole weekend worth of dementia to catch up on. [1:38] It's like when you come back from vacation, you've got 300 messages in your inbox, all [1:43] from your psycho boss. [1:45] We're only 16 months into his second term now. [1:48] Somehow, this man is at war with Iran and Milli Vanilli. [1:54] Last week, the White House announced this big lineup for Trump's Great American State Fair, [1:59] the 250th American Anniversary Concert. [2:02] By Saturday, almost every one of the performers either said they never agreed to be part of [2:06] in the first place or dropped out of it. [2:09] Like, they dropped out quickly. [2:17] It was as if they'd been booked on a Hantavirus cruise. [2:20] Fortunately, the president doesn't take this sort of thing personally. [2:25] He wrote, I understand artists are getting the yips having to do with their performance, [2:29] so I'm thinking about bringing the number one attraction anywhere in the world. [2:33] The man who gets much larger audiences than Elvis in his prime, and he does so without a guitar. [2:39] The man who loves our country more than anyone else. [2:42] And the man who some say is the greatest president in history. [2:46] The GOAT, Donald J. Trump, to take the place of these highly paid third-rate artists [2:51] and give a major speech rallying the country forward like I have done ever since being president. [2:58] Yeah, you know those first-rate artists I announced on Wednesday? [3:02] Today, they're third-rate artists, and I will be replacing them. [3:05] He said, I only want to be surrounded by happy people. [3:09] That's right. [3:10] He only wants to be surrounded by happy people. [3:13] For instance, this photograph of his wife pictured at their evening grimace. [3:23] The only well-known artists who did not back out were Flo Rida and Vanilla Ice, [3:29] who now need to find another way to make 80 bucks that night. [3:32] And to make this all even crazier, Vanilla and Flo Rida, along with many of the performers [3:38] who were originally announced, and that includes Mars Day, Young MC, [3:41] and the aforementioned Milli Vanilli, are represented by the Universal Attractions Agency, [3:47] which is an agency owned by a man who was unfortunate enough to be named, [3:51] and everyone, please relax when I say this, Jeff Epstein is the guy's name. [3:55] Okay? This poor bastard. [3:57] Hey, listen, I'm not a conspiracy guy, but what if Jeffrey Epstein didn't die [4:06] and instead chose a fate worse than death, which was being Vanilla Ice's booking agent? [4:12] Think about it. [4:14] The headline is, the concert is off and his speech is on. [4:23] Instead of music, the entertainment will be an 80-year-old man yelling about windmills. [4:28] Windmilly Vanilli will be taking the stage. [4:31] And on top of that, you remember how this lunatic had his name added to the front of the Kennedy Center, [4:35] the Trump Kennedy Center? [4:36] On Friday, a federal judge ruled that his name has to come off. [4:40] According to that, which he ignored, the Kennedy Center is a memorial to honor our fallen president. [4:51] It can only be named after President Kennedy and President Kennedy alone, [4:55] so they're gonna remove Trump's name from the building. [4:57] And this really got under his pumpkin-colored skin. [5:00] He posted two long, angry dinatropes. [5:04] George Washington's inauguration speech was shorter than these. [5:09] He said he's given up on his renovation plan. [5:12] He's turning the building back over to Congress to figure it out. [5:16] He doesn't care about it anymore, which is especially bad news for the band. [5:19] They have booked to play the Center this week. [5:22] This is not a joke. [5:23] This is the sort of act they've had to book since Trump put his name on the place. [5:26] Big Al and the Jokers, Latvia's Rock and Roll Powerhouse. [5:31] Live this Thursday night at the venue, formerly known as the Trump Kennedy Center. [5:39] Oh, that is a tough one. [5:40] But don't worry, Trump's name will remain squarely emblazoned on the still unreleased Trump-Epstein files. [5:46] Without asking, I guess. You can't un-knock something down. [5:55] You know, on Saturday, Trump granted his daughter-in-law, Laura, an interview that included a tour of the construction site slash UFC arena he's living in right now. [6:05] This is what I did. I did this better than anybody. [6:08] Although, you're a man. He's very good. Eric. [6:12] He's not bad. I have to say, Eric Trump is a really good builder. [6:17] He has the gene. Yep. [6:19] He has a gene that I have. I have my gene. [6:23] He has a gene. He has a gene. That's why he's a genius. It's the gene that he has. [6:28] He can't just give Eric credit for anything. He's got to say, he has my gene. [6:33] But at least he's acknowledging they're related for a change. [6:36] And then he sat Laura down to share an idea he is very, very proud of, this new word he made up. [6:43] I take the word dumb, take the B off, because most people don't know that, you know, dumb ends with a B. [6:48] But most people don't know. And all I do is switch the E with a U, and you have a Democrat. [6:53] I don't care how many times he explains that. I love to hear it every time. [6:57] I love every detail. I love removing the B. I love swapping the U with the E. [7:02] And then the way, oh, the way he just rolls it out, Democrat. So triumphant. [7:07] I can listen to him go through that a thousand times. And I have a pretty good feeling we will have to listen to that. [7:13] Late Friday night, they released the results of Trump's third annual checkup in a year and a half. [7:18] It took three days to release it, one day to compile the findings, another two for the redactions. [7:24] Trump's doctor said the president remains in excellent health. He was able to stay awake for almost the duration of the exam. [7:31] Of course, Trump took time to brag about this. He wrote, [7:35] The results of my physical exam were extremely good, unlike other U.S. presidents, none of whom have ever taken an improved high-difficulty cognitive test. [7:44] I scored a perfect 30 out of 30, considered extreme intelligence. [7:49] Are the Democrats really surprised? In fact, this is my fourth such test. [7:54] All perfect, 120 correct answers out of 120 questions asked. They're the same 30 questions over and over again. [8:01] It is very rare that anyone gets a perfect score, especially when achieved four times in a row. [8:08] That's right. No president in the history of this country has ever had to have his brain examined this many times in a row. [8:15] Congratulations. [8:17] It's just like bragging about passing a breathalyzer test. It doesn't mean you did great. [8:28] All it means is they're not going to lock you up, okay? [8:30] What you should be worried about is the fact that your behavior is so erratic, they keep asking you to take these tests. [8:36] Tomorrow, you know, primary elections are going to be held in six U.S. states, including ours, California. [8:43] We have never had a weirder or more confusing primary. [8:46] There are 61 people on the ballot for governor, including a candidate named Barack D. Obama Shaw. [8:53] And we looked into it. The D stands for Denzel. [8:58] The guy renamed himself after Denzel Washington and Barack Obama. [9:02] And then we have a guy named Spencer Pratt running for mayor, who unfortunately is the Spencer Pratt from the reality shows. [9:11] After tomorrow, Spencer Pratt will either be one of two candidates for mayor or Carrot on the next season of The Masked Singer. [9:19] We'll see. [9:20] Right now, the polling shows that he's in a very tight race with Karen Bass and Nithya Rahman. [9:25] How that is possible, I have no idea. [9:27] I mean, I get why people are mad, but has anyone ever made a good decision when they're mad? [9:33] Ask any divorce lawyer. [9:34] Mad is the difference between an amicable separation and your Rivian ending up in the pool. [9:39] Any CEO will tell you how they got to be successful. [9:44] Not one of them says, well, it all started when I keyed my boss's car. [9:48] Getting mad, all getting mad ever gets you is duct taped to an airplane seat. [9:52] Even if you're just looking to mix it up by voting for a celebrity, there are so many celebrities who live here, [9:59] all of whom would be better choices for mayor than Spencer Pratt. [10:03] Steve Guttenberg would be a better mayor than Spencer Pratt. [10:06] Weird Al would be a better mayor. [10:08] Johnson would be a great mayor of the city. [10:13] The accidentes billboard guy. [10:16] The dog next to the lady on the insurance billboard. [10:22] Literally, anyone from the cast of The Hills would be a better mayor than Spencer Pratt. [10:29] This is a ridiculous choice for mayor of Los Angeles. [10:32] But I do have to admit, he makes some pretty good ads. [10:34] For decades, L.A. has been run by career politicians. [10:39] It's time for real change. [10:41] Woo! [10:42] Let's go. [10:43] L.A. needs a leader with no experience in anything at all. [10:47] She's just a vagina. [10:48] Spencer Pratt will cut wasteful spending. [10:51] Dang. [10:52] This is the coolest knife I've ever held. [10:54] Spencer Pratt will heal this city with thousands of crystals he was unable to sell. [11:00] I don't think the crystals are working right now. [11:02] I know they're not working. [11:03] That's why there's hundreds on me right now. [11:05] Let the world know just how stupid you are. [11:10] You lamest girl in this club. [11:12] What the hell is wrong with you? [11:13] I hate that bitch. [11:14] Excuse my French. [11:15] Hey, you're crazy. [11:16] People don't know how dangerous I am. [11:20] I just really had to like hold myself smashing the head off. [11:25] You know, like, this is like... [11:27] Spencer Pratt for mayor. [11:31] There are some people in L.A. that are... [11:34] I'm Deuce Bigelow and I approve this message. [11:41] Thank you, Deuce. [11:43] 24 hours from now, we will find out whether or not we have to pay attention to Spencer Pratt for the next five months here. [11:53] Governor and mayor aren't the only things we're voting on tomorrow. [11:56] We are also voting on a number of props and ballot measures having to do with issues like hotel tax. [12:02] Boring stuff. [12:03] But we thought we might spice it up and have some fun with it. [12:05] So we went out onto Hollywood Boulevard to ask passersby if they voted and how they voted on a bunch of stuff we made up in a special L.A. election edition of Live Witness News. [12:15] Have you had a chance to vote yet? [12:21] I did. [12:22] Amazing. [12:23] Yes, this morning. [12:24] Wow. [12:25] Where did you vote? [12:26] I went to... [12:27] I don't know what it's called. [12:29] My roommate took me. [12:30] What was it like to vote this year? [12:32] How did it feel? [12:33] Um... [12:34] My mom handles most of my voting things. [12:39] Ha! [12:41] How did you feel about Prop 18? [12:43] Prop 18. [12:44] Could you remind me? [12:45] The parking one? [12:46] Oh! [12:47] Oh! [12:48] Um... [12:52] It makes it illegal for anyone to park in front of your house? [12:56] Totally. [12:57] Where are you for or against Prop 9? [12:59] Four. [13:00] So that means you're against girls in schools? [13:02] All schools or just elementary schools? [13:04] Elementary schools. [13:06] Are you glad that Prop 38 passed? [13:09] Yeah, that is... [13:10] That's the one banning Filipinos from marriage? [13:13] I'm indifferent on that. [13:21] Who's your favorite candidate that you heard about? [13:26] I think Tom Sawyer. [13:27] Yeah. [13:28] A lot of the stuff that he's been saying I've kind of resonated with. [13:31] There's a rumor that he's tricked people into painting fences for him. [13:34] Oh. [13:35] It's unpaid labor, right? [13:36] Yeah, that's not... that's not cool. [13:39] That he attended his own funeral just to see how people responded? [13:42] Oh, wow. [13:43] Yeah, that seems like some type of social experiment or something. [13:47] Right. [13:48] Yeah. [13:49] You saying the stuff about him faking his death kind of made me... [13:51] Right. [13:52] ...like eerie about him. [13:53] I'll definitely do a lot more research. [13:55] Yeah. [13:56] I think you'll be surprised what you find. [13:58] Yeah. [13:59] Were there any candidates that you really liked? [14:01] Um... [14:02] Not specifically. [14:03] I do have to go. [14:04] Okay. [14:05] My Uber is right on the corner. [14:06] I'm so sorry. [14:07] I just got off of work. [14:08] Thank you so much. [14:10] I know you're lying. [14:11] Good show for you tonight from Euphoria. [14:19] Anawale Okanoya Okbaje is here. [14:22] You have me to talk with Olivia Wilde. [14:26] So stick around.