Naresh Bhatt denies abusing wife but admits threatening divorce — Full testimony Part 3

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: um did you did you then come back to the united states yes um did mom to come with you no not [00:00:09] Speaker 2: right away no because she doesn't have a visa so we gotta wait we already when the marriage cancel i already applied her fiancé visa so it means like that is the conversation between my father's older brother and mom that's dad okay you know regardless we're gonna it is just postponed so do the process and i apply for the fiancé visa at that time so then that visa expired right [00:00:33] Speaker 1: no well how did you get her to come back to the united states when i came over here she already [00:00:40] Speaker 2: posted a lot of things on the facebook and then right before the interview uh the interviewer from the embassy of nepal call on her phone and then i did not know that my dad and then mom switched each other's phone and then my dad received the phone and then he thought somebody boy is calling or you know disturbing something like that he said like who you are why you are calling in this number it's my daughter's number why you calling this that later he said like no because first he doesn't want to disclose the information because of privacy but but you were [00:01:16] Speaker 1: able to bring her over yes fix the second time first visa get cancelled because she wasn't your fiancé [00:01:23] Speaker 2: anymore yeah they find the during the interview they find like a lot of post and then you already married now you were saying fiancé so that cancels did you did you what did you say when you're they [00:01:35] Speaker 1: were like she's your she's your wife she's not your fiancé did you tell them no i wasn't there i was here [00:01:40] Speaker 2: so okay yeah i wasn't at the interview she tried to tell that but like they already say like mamta say like later she tried to insist but like they saw the what do you want to say about this picture and then she said okay and then they didn't decline and then she come out that's it but you were able to fix it yeah and then after that we do not have a marriage certificate legally we were not married yet so i you know we find somebody who can work for us make the marriage certificate i was still here they one of the new politicians say like no you got to come here to show or oath or something like that and then i find another one and then we make the marriage certificate then apply for [00:02:22] Speaker 1: real visa had banta ever been in the united states before she came here initially that was the first time um did she speak english [00:02:33] Speaker 2: uh yes how much uh how do i compare uh speak better than you when you came way better okay way better yeah because she went to the private school so she in the beginning if you compare when my beginning and her beginning she has kind of mastery in english if you compare that because she went all school you know with a private school and then she go to the abroad another country to study was she fluent in [00:03:03] Speaker 1: english no no no okay she was better than you were when you came over yes but like when i was here when [00:03:10] Speaker 2: like in 2021 i was way better than her because i was spending a lot of year here so i was here for four years yeah but like her english was listening was bigger problem speaking she has okay but like you know reading reading reading writing is way better than speaking and listening okay um okay so over time [00:03:33] Speaker 1: um so you you got married and she came here when what year was it 2021 okay and um over to over time you and you did you live together right away yes um and is this the time frame that you also [00:03:53] Speaker 2: were deployed to wisconsin not at that time first he came we live in a falchers but like we did not stay there permanently because i had a job training in pennsylvania okay king of persia pennsylvania and then somehow i managed over there and then i took her over there as well in king of persia pennsylvania yeah [00:04:13] Speaker 1: pennsylvania and did you stay in pennsylvania for a little while yes few months okay um did you where [00:04:20] Speaker 2: where did you live uh the who give us the training they give us like you know we have to share the they say hostel we stay in a hostel and then they give us like one like closet type of room and then mom and both uh we stay in that and then hostel basically yeah and did did mom to just stay home all day uh no first we both preparing for the same that uh you know job mamta they say wasn't able to do that job she said they say like they do not want to take her for interview like after a few days and then she joined to the walmart so did she get a job yes she started working at the walmart um did you were you [00:05:03] Speaker 1: still in the were you in the reserves at this point yes was there a deployment that you or a uh not not a deployment i think it's a drill a drill so you you were called to drill somewhere every month i have [00:05:17] Speaker 2: to go for the drill at full fort belver virginia here how how long were you in drill it depends like you know sometimes three days sometimes two days majority of time over a weekend over a weekend [00:05:31] Speaker 1: did you um did mom to come with you on your drill no did she want to come with you on your drill [00:05:40] Speaker 2: yeah at that time she doesn't understand how military works so if you are 50 miles away i because because before in a conversation i keep telling her like you know if you're 50 miles away they're gonna give us the hotel so she thought like you know now we are 50 miles away like i want to go with you but like you know that doesn't happen that doesn't allow because my home of record is in fall short so it's like 20 miles did you tell her she had to stay in pennsylvania yeah [00:06:06] Speaker 1: she doesn't trust me okay so so you go to your to your drill um what does she do she say like [00:06:15] Speaker 2: because already i got the text messages from the deployment you know like hey we are getting our whole 55th sustained brigade getting deployment order you are in the green so you're gonna get deployed not confirm at this point but like you are in the green during this drill you have to come there is no excuse for this drill you have to come and then i share all those and then the deployment for afghanistan hamid karzai international airport and then at that time in that airport a lot of kios she first she say like cancel it you know last time you cancel that jordan deployment cancel it i see didn't want you to go no she doesn't want to me go because a lot of violence going on in afghanistan [00:06:57] Speaker 1: so violence is going on in afghanistan so does she um is she did you go anyway even though she didn't [00:07:05] Speaker 2: yeah i just you know like later i did not tell her just i know like because my i have all the clothes right here and then all the everything my you know like that you just left i just left so even though [00:07:17] Speaker 1: she was like don't go don't go you just left anyway yeah usually like you know that's not the first time or second time usually like that happened and did you did you call her and tell her uh once i left and then i called her i'm leaving um and did she did she get upset mad yeah very badly very badly um she [00:07:37] Speaker 2: was blaming me you want to choose to go deployment you want to choose to die over there you know like i said i did not choose i want to try to cancel it so i have to go otherwise they're going to put me in [00:07:48] Speaker 1: jail so and she was she had a job at that point oh yes at the walmart she has a job so it's not like she has a place to live she's working at walmart yes you didn't abandon her there no no no that's not [00:08:02] Speaker 2: that even equation okay um [00:08:15] Speaker 1: so just backing up a little bit as you're living together in pennsylvania and then you live together in wisconsin when you actually get the deployment for a while there did you eventually then come back to northern virginia to live with mamtha yes um and you've been away from her for a little while because you were in wisconsin yes um when you came back where did you live same apartment falls church and where what do you remember the name of the [00:08:47] Speaker 2: two nine one one wickersham way falls church virginia okay and that's where you were living with [00:08:52] Speaker 1: her in 2021 yes so as you're living at wickersham way um did you did you develop a pattern and a rhythm and roles within the the family group of the two of you [00:09:14] Speaker 2: it happened automatically we did not make any this that but like it happened automatically oh okay you got automatically what i was doing keep doing what she doing keep you didn't like have a conversation [00:09:27] Speaker 1: i'm going to do this you're going to do that as far as i remember never developed automatically happens so what kind of roles did you have what were you responsible for [00:09:42] Speaker 2: mostly cleaning except the kitchen cleaning vacuum laundry a grocery all the paperwork all the paperwork legal any kind of paperwork so [00:09:57] Speaker 1: uh give me some examples [00:10:00] Speaker 2: immigration paperwork a hard job paperwork training paperwork uh my print training paperwork my job immigration including every any kind of paperwork uh insurance health insurance you know vehicle insurance uh license driver license her license her driver license her learner's permit [00:10:20] Speaker 1: any kind of what was she responsible for what were her roles in the house [00:10:26] Speaker 2: to control me or she uh do the kitchen cooking cooking is like you know cooking and then study cooking and uh cooking and then what type of clothes we have like you know fancy decoration stuff like that [00:10:45] Speaker 1: did she um did she who who picked out clothing and things like that [00:10:52] Speaker 2: always mumta 100 of the time um you said there was cooking how uh what kind of things did she cook um all type of vegetarian food except like chicken or meat no chicken no meat other than that everything did she cook every day uh a couple times a day yes a couple of times a day even sometimes more okay and did you um did she decide what you were gonna have yeah that's 100 percent like i cannot decide that did you um who did the grocery shopping [00:11:30] Speaker 1: in the beginning i i do as you as the relationship went on and developed did you continue to do the grocery shopping [00:11:39] Speaker 2: she take over later okay because i wasn't very aware about the price and then i buy sometimes expensive tomatoes you know this that and then she make me to even go refund and then i have to do that to make you go back and get a refund many times i did that yeah later not in the beginning later uh spices these that you know like and and then after i get married for the clothes i buy only one jacket in my whole life other than that even underwear i did not buy she bought that she bought that everything [00:12:14] Speaker 1: um so when you say um so let me let me skip over that um who managed your financials i do so did you have bank accounts when mamta came here the first time yes and where did you have bank accounts when you when she came over in 2021 [00:12:38] Speaker 2: i had bank account wells fargo bank account i opened somewhere in false shares i had uh wells fargo bank account that's the only one bank account that's one bank account that's it did you have a savings account yeah uh in the wells fargo yes saving and checking account did you have a check did you [00:12:54] Speaker 1: have a credit card yes you have more than one credit card yes okay when mamta came over did she have [00:13:03] Speaker 2: her own checking account uh for one or two weeks no after that i add her name on the wells fargo bank and then credit card they did not give the credit card i don't know the name you got to put the money on that one but uh she doesn't have a credit so she doesn't get the credit card so i used to give like you know one of my credit card one of my debit card but like we never use the debit card easily we [00:13:30] Speaker 1: don't use the debit card did you um did you run up bills on your credit card whatever possible uh [00:13:38] Speaker 2: whatever they accept always we use the credit card we don't use debit card mostly about for paying [00:13:43] Speaker 1: groceries everything credit card buying clothes credit card um did did you pay the credit card [00:13:52] Speaker 2: twice a month i never paid in this eight nine year even a penny interest always i pay in time so every [00:13:59] Speaker 1: month you're paying this credit card yes i never pay interest in my whole life um how many when when mamta first came over in 2021 how many cars did you have then at that point only one what was that vehicle hyundai sonata okay and um could mom to drive when she got to the united states no um and did she how did she learn to drive i taught her you actually were in the car with her teaching her to drive even i put her on my lap [00:14:41] Speaker 2: at night me in the go to the symmetry and then i came back from work at night and then there wasn't traffic and then i she is short than me and then i put on my lap so i control the brakes she control the steering [00:14:59] Speaker 1: usually that's how she learned driving so did she did she learn to drive by herself she never drive by [00:15:06] Speaker 2: herself sometimes we need like our brother sometimes i need to be in the passenger seat so she did not drive com feel comfortable drive by herself she don't did she get her driver's license eventually uh after uh failing couple times yes she did she got it eventually she could drive [00:15:28] Speaker 1: or she was she was allowed to drive let me put it that way she's allowed that like can i put little story what happened what i really want to know is like was she comfortable driving no was she a confident driver no um did she ever get comfortable driving by herself no if there is a somebody in passenger seat [00:15:48] Speaker 2: and then even like not in the uh 495 highway or no but in usually like when she go to the work come back to the work come back from the work you know i have to go and then next i sit in the passenger seat then she drive that that's the only way sometimes if i have a you know cousin brothers came somebody came in the passenger seat that's the only way otherwise independently she never drive she drive a couple times in the neighborhood but like she's scared and then [00:16:16] Speaker 1: she did not drive by herself never that was her decision that she didn't want to drive by herself [00:16:23] Speaker 2: uh she want to drive but situation doesn't allow because once she was pregnant she doesn't want to touch at all and then before when she you know nursing licensure exam she want to focus on so she doesn't want to drive at that time and then in the meantime i was deployed she sold the car even like when i go to the wisconsin the car was there so i don't know how many months i'm going to be there the deployment was for one year so she want to go back to nepal you know she doesn't want to live by herself over there and then where the car gonna go like already at that point we got her driver's license from driving school not from the dmb so she so we sell that car to the car max so when you went on your deployment you actually sold your car yeah i sold that honda sonata car i sell that yes did you buy a car when you came back from wisconsin yes i buy a used car honda pilot okay um and did she practice on that car yes that was a big car so like you know easy to fit two people in one seat [00:17:44] Speaker 1: did you did you help manta with other things in her life during this time period after she got here [00:17:52] Speaker 2: when was born all the jobs paper those type other than the kitchen stuff other than buying clothes other than what we're gonna buy what you know those other small stuff paperwork all the paperwork how to do the job training even like uh how when to get the job interview i was directly helping what to do how to do how to apply and then even like when it's a virtual interview i was right here i was doing all the work she was just showing the face and then i make her you know experience certificate i knew the people all those i used to do everything every single stuff she doesn't have to worry about even like trying to do the master's degree she was unable to decide how in what subject i supposed to do the master's degree gi psychology or pediatric stuff like that i you know usually she depends on me on that [00:18:49] Speaker 1: kind of you tell her what to do in what can you repeat one more time yeah did you did you dictate to her did you tell her this is what you're going to do never so was it what was that relationship like why were you helping her with her paperwork why were you helping her with those things [00:19:14] Speaker 2: she was you know like just came here and then since the beginning i was doing and then i was keep doing and then she was dependent and then even like uh she say like you know that's not my job you got to do it you know you that's your job even for the driving before the before she get pregnant i try to make her to drive by herself you know she say like okay you know she tried but she's scared but mostly the paperwork she say like ah no it's not my job i don't feel easy you got to do it and because i know the system more than her that is the one reason you've been here for a long time yes [00:19:51] Speaker 1: um how was momtas during this time that you're she's learning all these things and she's trying to learn how to drive like how is her how is her mental health how is she doing from what you could [00:20:07] Speaker 2: see living with her majority of time okay uh you said before nema board yes uh few times when she fail multiple times that nclex exam she says she never fail uh that was the only few times problem then sometimes i take to her alexandria these they're taking her out you know once she fail and then see when i start working to the gas station i say i'm making money don't worry like you know why you need to do that so don't worry and then later she say like no i'm i could fail four or five times now if you stay uh home at weekend i keep thinking about you i want to spend time with you so you know you make me this stuff so okay i'm gonna find another job for the weekend so distraction so she said distraction so even like sometimes she's also religious type of belief so first test we take in our testing center in alexandria she fail and then she cry i say like it's not your fault it's this this is not good for your horoscope so next next test i take her to the maryland and then i say it's the north side also not good and then next time i take her to the dc so every time in a different place so in the dc she get really offset and that was the third time she failed that test you're trying to distract her make her feel better by taking this place yes and then she uh want to quit at that time want to work gas station i say like you can work but like you know i don't want to say now but like you're going to learn the english or how to talk that's going to help you out but i don't need the money i already making good money so was she um what was your what was your relationship with her family at this time usually i talk to mom and dad very good very nice and what [00:21:57] Speaker 1: was her relationship with your family like very good very good um did you were you close to mom at this time very close were you was the relationship like needy for both of you yes [00:22:15] Speaker 3: judge i think we're at a good place to take a break all right it is 20 after 12 we'll take our lunch break and we'll come back in an hour okay all right are you ready to continue we are all right mr bont if you can go back on the stand you are [00:22:42] Speaker 1: all right mr bont when we before we took the break for lunch um we had talked about um you and mom ta and and how you had been doing after she came here and after your deployments and when you're back here in prince william or in i guess at that time false church and living do you remember that um and so what i want to do is what i want to do is i want to show you um some photos all right so um did you did you look at these photos yes ma'am and did you recognize what they were pictures of yes ma'am and um and what what are they in general [00:24:29] Speaker 2: just our picture in a different places so it's um and who was in the photos uh myself [00:24:35] Speaker 1: momta and and my one of my cousin brother and you were in the you you were in these photos i am and do these photos are they a true and accurate reflection of the times that they were taken and i would like to say yes ma'am okay and so judge what i want to do is um i'm going to offer a thumb drive that i'm going to hand to the clerk for marking um i'd like to move and enter and then publish these unless the commonwealth has objections any objections no judge no check just trying to track [00:25:13] Speaker 3: what number one can i ask what number this is going to be nine i'm hearing we are on nine okay so you want it collectively as defense nine collectively as nine [00:25:29] Speaker 1: you have that thumb drive i but i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna ponder from the thumb drive and i will no problem to the clerk just as soon as i'm done um okay so i'm going to show you um these photos and uh and then if you can tell me what these photos are showing i'm plugged in oh shoot i'm not plugged in sorry um your your it person is telling me what to do and i'm ignoring him there we go and what is this photo mr vat uh it was at the beach roughly when was this [00:26:53] Speaker 2: after i came back from the deployment or right before the deployment i have a memory of this it's in a ocean city but i don't recall the time and um but it was around the time of your deployment to wisconsin that is correct and um and is that who is in that photo mumta and then myself i don't recognize the anyone on the back the people in the background um you're not there with the people in [00:27:23] Speaker 1: the background right um and uh and who drew the figure between the two of you uh half [00:27:32] Speaker 2: uh half half half 50 50. so you drew half and she drew half uh outline covering mumta drew uh she make me to write down on the middle i write down on the middle okay all right [00:27:45] Speaker 1: next photo so i know i don't really want to have to unplug in between every photo though if i can avoid it well hopefully not have to do that there we go okay [00:28:50] Speaker 2: okay and where is this photo uh this is just right after the deployment and this is at the one of the [00:29:03] Speaker 1: museum aircraft museum um who picked out the clothing that you're wearing i did uh actually we have [00:29:13] Speaker 2: these like 15 20 clothes and then we give all to the clothes friends and then mumta keep these same article from top to bottom but like these are free clothes we got from the deployment you know once uh during the demobilization process i got these free clothes and then i bring like 15 or 20 t-shirts and then we gave the same t-shirt to the [00:29:36] Speaker 1: close friends and um did did who chose the clothes for that day always mumta so she's like we're wearing [00:29:45] Speaker 2: these today uh these are can you repeat the question she said mumta okay um and then [00:29:56] Speaker 1: well how about this photo [00:30:05] Speaker 2: it it is uh on the after a couple days of her birthday or something like that in senandoah valley uh a couple days later of birthday or around that after right after the deployment and right after the [00:30:23] Speaker 1: deployment yes okay and then how about [00:30:38] Speaker 2: you got this photo this is somewhere nearby minnesota exactly i do not know the name i know the name is border of the wisconsin and minnesota uh this is the a day or two before the christmas okay and then we all nepalese people afghani people we went there but like in the picture only two of us but like there were a lot of other afghani and nepalese people over there okay there we go where is this this is at one of the beats she was asking me to some making somebody making the tick tock videos she want to make that tick tock video um i'm not doing very good on videos she was keep telling me how to do it so she was teaching me how to do it and roughly when is this i guess this is i do not recall after the deployment i guess yes so before before nema is born yeah way before nema born yeah all right and then how about this this is i think within a few weeks or month i guess less than a month when mom type came to the united [00:32:19] Speaker 1: state so this is her first beach trip and do you know where you are here ocean city maryland [00:32:29] Speaker 2: it's uh something you know on the i don't jumping something i don't know the name yeah parasailing [00:32:36] Speaker 1: that's correct name yes the first time she's ever done that before no no she's parasailed before yes [00:32:45] Speaker 2: where did she parasail before uh when we were in a trip right after the marriage uh we go to the they say over there paragliding we did multiple paragliding i think it is paragliding yeah so you've done this before yeah we both done this before okay multiple times on the same day multiple times okay and then how about this this is also she just came within a few weeks i had a weekend drill so before i came usually like i was on the phone and uh when i reached to the home already noodles she made the ramen noodles and then once i entered the door she said like she's my commander and then you got a salute to come inside so i salute her and come inside did she put on the uniform yes because i have multiple pairs of uniforms she i did not know she was already wearing the uniform and then she was looking at some from window or somewhere once she saw me outside then she at the door and then she said like you have to salute me then i'm gonna let you get in so that was fun it was fun so okay so then she took the picture and then i was eating so and where is this it is also i think it is i do not remember i think exactly when she is saying me to goodbye for the deployment uh at the louis delaware i believe so because at that time she has some infection on her lip but i don't see that [00:34:53] Speaker 1: so louis delaware louis delaware okay you look back at these photos now mr bot um did you these are happy photos yes um during the time between when she came to the united states and when nema was born so between that 2021 to 2023 did you ever did you dictate did you order mom to to do things [00:35:39] Speaker 4: and did you prevent her from doing anything that she wanted to do and did you prevent her from doing anything that she wanted to do [00:36:00] Speaker 1: never um did you prevent her from having friends [00:36:07] Speaker 2: never actually she has way more friends than i do [00:36:10] Speaker 1: um did you ever prevent her from accessing money during this time never did she did she have access to the household funds through credit card um that was attached to the account yes how were the grocery bills paid all credit card and um and who used the credit card to buy groceries [00:36:36] Speaker 2: both and then how about the utility bills uh we usually pay from the credit card and then pay from the bank bank is like not mine it's all we usually pay from the credit card and then pay from the bank bank is like not mine it's all we usually pay from the credit card and then pay from the bank bank is like the bank is like not mine it's us ours so like it's the same account so we do not have a at that point no separate account only one account that's the one that you put her on when she first came yeah oh yeah i because for the some dmb purpose they need right away so yes i i add her name on that bank account [00:37:10] Speaker 1: and just uh just to be clear did that bank account get closed at some point [00:37:15] Speaker 2: uh somewhere in february 2024. okay and you opened up a different account try to open the same account it was by mistake but it doesn't work but uh no i did not open any account she opened another bank account in the chase bank account somewhere i did not open any other bank account [00:37:35] Speaker 1: you have another bank account at that time yes and where was that navy federal credit union we had a that that is also joint account so did you did you and mamta have arguments during this time period between when she got here in 2023 before nema was born what do you mean by argument did you did you have disputes did you have disagreements sometimes and um and what what were the what kind of disagreements did you have [00:38:16] Speaker 2: i do not recall any specific none of those are worth to remember like just something happens mostly like those goes away with the fun or jokes okay um did you did you fight or argue during this time never [00:38:35] Speaker 1: um did you and mamta ever have physical confrontations did you ever physically touch mamta in anger never and did you ever physically hurt her never um would you say was your marriage happy during these first two years very very happy um so i'm gonna move forward now to um to 2023 at the time that just before nema is [00:39:15] Speaker 2: born what when was nema born uh on one of the weekend 2023 august 20 and um were you when do you remember when you found out about the pregnancy um i do not recall but uh she hide me and then she needs something from me to tell me even the gender something like that and then i took her uh one of the mountain in north uh north carolina then i come to know i have a girl baby so okay so she didn't tell you initially that she was pregnant um not very initially she tried to hide me but like you know i figure it out i have a doubt a little bit but she did not tell me initially so she she on some trip or something like that so in a special place she want to tell me otherwise she's not gonna tell me then she tell me finally at north carolina somewhere you were on some kind of trip together yes were you were you um were you both happy about the pregnancy yeah very happy because you know we have very careful more than happy we were very sad and careful because we already had uh had two miscarriages so at that point so we were very careful that's why she stopped completely driving doing like hard [00:40:38] Speaker 1: works completely see stuff okay so um let me approach you and show you some more photos and take a look at those and let me know um if you recognize what they are [00:40:55] Speaker 2: i recognize all of these you do all of these [00:41:01] Speaker 1: again this is now nine ten um and ten uh in combination so just [00:41:11] Speaker 3: um last defense 10 any objection all right with that objection that'll be received [00:41:31] Speaker 2: uh what is this a photo of mr bot it is at the herndon during the baby sour you found the word um yeah sometimes a little bit hard to find english words so baby sour and then on the from from left to right that was my one of the cousin brother mamta in the middle nadia is on next to me and then on all the way right that's me how how close is this to when she gives birth uh almost a month or two months before the baby born okay [00:42:21] Speaker 4: and then [00:42:36] Speaker 2: what's this a picture of mr bot i just come back from the drill and then she want to make some video with something baby stuff like that somewhere she pick up that uh and i exactly do not remember how she pick up but she did a lot of video and then photos and then at that time she on this day or somewhere around she passed another test of the cardio something cardio related to cardiology so that was the day somewhere that was a monday or friday one of those not the weekday weekend so monday or friday something like that you were celebrating a little bit also i don't think it's celebration just i came back from the drill and then she already cooked the food and then just before i take off the you know uniforms you want to do this i see like let's do it all right what is this picture right after the my baby born that is correct showing she has lungs yes [00:44:01] Speaker 1: um so when i was born were you there at the hospital when she was born all the time yes were you in the room [00:44:12] Speaker 2: and during the labor part of this but during the labor uh yes but like she ended up with a cs what [00:44:22] Speaker 1: is that cesarean section cesarean section yes and would they let you stay in the room during the [00:44:28] Speaker 2: cesarean section uh no i had a surgical clothes but i was at the door next to the door not inside the door [00:44:36] Speaker 1: outside the door so you couldn't be there right when she's being pulled out in the cesarean section [00:44:43] Speaker 2: they do not allow me because they say like you might get scared or something they do not allow me but like i see most of those they were afraid that you'd get scared or faint yeah they say they do not allow me i request them like you know they say like no all right how about this mr bach this is right after the uh come to the world and what's what's happening here uh uh one of the lady nurse she already took my phone i already requested her to take a picture so she was taking picture and then i was she she already like put the baby on that clothes so before leaving i want to say like let's you know uh take one picture together with a mother baby and father so they did like okay we can do that and then they did that [00:45:47] Speaker 1: how quickly did they let you back in the room after nema was born before umbilical cord cut [00:45:54] Speaker 2: right right after they did not you know hold me outside long because you know they did not hold me [00:46:00] Speaker 1: for a long time so you were there and the umbilical cord was still attached yes and so you saw her just seconds after she was born yes even like they were doing some you know extra [00:46:13] Speaker 2: procedure mamta wasn't like uh you know general anesthesia she was you know like anesthesia half of her body maybe somewhere you know i don't know exactly so have an epidural yes were you there when they administered the epidural yes that was a bad time yes they the person did multiple try multiple puncher so that takes two three points or i don't know how many puncher but like you know that you know that's [00:46:41] Speaker 1: that's not that wasn't a good were you there during how long did her labor to go go if you know [00:46:48] Speaker 2: maybe one night and uh one night one whole day maybe 15 hour 20 hours long labor because we went to the hospital around eight nine in the evening and then whole night another day and this is like 7 49 somewhere [00:47:08] Speaker 1: 750 in the another day evening did you um were you there with her or did you step out like while she's [00:47:16] Speaker 2: going through labor i step out i think only one time for 15 minutes to bring something from home at that time mandira seresta she she was there she helped that was the 15 minute is the only one time i step out what did you do while she was in labor whatever the nurse instruct me to help her to push her you know all those you know medical intervention whatever the nurse or doctor instruct me i did all those procedure and then if not doing month i want to hold my hand so like you know so i have to be stand there like as a pool so she hold me um and when you say whatever the doctor or nurse told [00:47:58] Speaker 1: you to do you weren't performing the medical part of this right no they say like they say hey hold [00:48:05] Speaker 2: the leg i have to hold the leg hey hold the belly whatever they instruct me i just follow their [00:48:12] Speaker 1: instructions put your hands on on mamta when this is happening i put my hands on yes and then cleaning [00:48:20] Speaker 2: sometimes cleaning as well no uh it's before come to the world uh cleaning mamta yes cleaning her what is this photo it is right after uh did some really ritual stuff when entering to the new home how far how how how many days old i believe nine days old old nine days nine days um what are the flowers those are the flowers no mamta welcome something something like that those are mom's flowers yeah mom does flower for and how about this [00:49:28] Speaker 1: and how about this it is at the chantilly one of the temple [00:49:42] Speaker 2: so i'm sorry where where is this it is at the chantilly rajdani temple and then on the more in the morning of the day of um feeding ceremony okay all right mr bot and what is this a picture of it is at the potomac river at the site of the potomac river i used to work uh there next to my on opposite side of my work uh right before mom does birthday i guess so just at the potomac river i don't know the name of the park there is a park it's right there who's taking that picture i guess mamta yeah [00:51:09] Speaker 1: about who who um who chose the name i did and did you and mamta talk about what that name should be oh yes and um and did you did you come up with that as a as a compromise as a joint name oh yes it is like [00:51:29] Speaker 2: you know uh involved like n start from nourish and then n ee because i talked to few of the native speakers so the spelling supposed to be so one of the native american speaker white men say like oh mispronunciation then i put like n so and then nobody say like they say and then that is the right pronunciation and we have another name uh mamta want to come up with later like we say like no that name is not doesn't sound any good so mamta was expecting for a boy and i was expecting for first girl then boy so name indicate very brave strong and then who climbed mount everest multiple times stuff like that so and then it represent male name more more than female name but female also could have this name and then usually google says baby born at a good time and then mamta was super super happy [00:52:38] Speaker 1: how did you find this type of name and then yeah so everybody mamta was very pleased with the name [00:52:43] Speaker 2: yeah that's why like you know she say like yeah it's because it takes it doesn't take a day or two [00:52:48] Speaker 1: days it takes month many many months to find the name um was mom was mom to released from the hospital [00:52:56] Speaker 2: right away no how long why do you know why i believe that the epidural they puncture multiple time but the findings after the mri and city scans they find the uh from the court something like that they say like air bubbles moving upward from spine something like this is to stay in the hospital for a little yeah around a week or i do not remember but like they're about to discharge after a day or two but like you know once mamta has to move the head it get pain so i have to move her head if she did that [00:53:38] Speaker 1: it's pain and then it's stable no pain so when she came home was she able to get up and move around and do things usually not um were you were you working at the time that i was born i took off how long did [00:53:58] Speaker 2: you take off i do not exactly remember at that time i had two jobs one job is very easy both on site one job is i have to be on site a lot of you know work to do so i take completely that hard job for two three weeks until my mom came the another job just i have to go over there show up and then i can come back so that job i think like a week or two so because i have to take my mom to the toilet and then usually we don't use the toilet paper clean her with the hands stuff like that so i have to be at home so [00:54:34] Speaker 1: so you were home with her and when did your mom come after we moved to the new home in ninth day of [00:54:42] Speaker 2: and then maybe within a week or when was 15 days 20 days i do not remember exactly but very soon soon after maybe a few weeks after i was born yeah my mom want to come even like before but like you know she cannot travel by herself she doesn't read she doesn't write so we need to find somebody who is traveling so we find someone that's how uh she came after like a couple weeks of birth and how long did [00:55:11] Speaker 1: your mom stay after she came from maybe nine nine months eight months so she didn't leave until late spring of 2020. until [00:55:30] Speaker 2: may first week of may or last week of april of 2024. that's correct [00:55:39] Speaker 1: did your did did did um did your dad come with your mom no did he come for visits [00:55:45] Speaker 2: after a couple months or something like that okay so he came and how long did he stay uh same like when they lived mom and dad left together okay so he was there all the way through to [00:55:58] Speaker 1: may yes okay um so after your mom got there how much time per day were you working once you went back to work [00:56:15] Speaker 2: i mostly i was at work i leave home around 5 30 and then come back at night one o'clock so you're working very long hours yeah i had two full-time on-site job and then one from traveling from one job to another job that was you know right next to dc arlington and then from bethesda maryland to it was crazy traffic three to four so i had to spend time so pull eight hours to full-time job both on-site i.t jobs [00:56:47] Speaker 1: um where were you working during this time uh i had one full-time job at the [00:56:57] Speaker 2: iron dome warfare center at bethesda maryland that was one of my full-time job another job i worked for saic as a data security analyst in roslyn arlington [00:57:20] Speaker 1: and were you in those jobs between august 2023 and december of 2023 [00:57:28] Speaker 2: somewhere december or it was like you know winter i quit those two jobs so i do not want to do two jobs anymore i got another job with a high pay and i switched another job and where was that new job department of justice office of inspector general okay um and were you working there in winter of 2023 yes few months i worked there i don't know how many months but like not a long time [00:58:02] Speaker 1: few months okay so i think i can just um have a couple i'll get you a copy of that for sure okay when mom came back from the hospital and was um was she in pain yes um was she able to move around [00:59:18] Speaker 2: freely need support easily no need support need support somebody need to support could she go up and [00:59:25] Speaker 1: down stairs never try okay where did she where did she spend the days and the nights when she came when [00:59:34] Speaker 2: she first came back oh nine days we stay at the fall church so usually she remains inside the room and then i take her for toilet i take her for you know pee i i used to take her toilet and pee and until like nine ten days i do not remember exactly nine ten days she has a problem on her head and then she has a problem where the you know the surgical blade was something surgery the incision yes yes and um and then you did you move to a new house yeah on the ninth day we moved okay once you got to that house did she [01:00:19] Speaker 1: where did she stay in the house uh on the living room uh [01:00:25] Speaker 2: not upstairs like where the tv or kitchen is on the main floor on the main floor that is correct did she go up and down the stairs there as far as i remember up to onto a up to a month or something no [01:00:39] Speaker 1: okay um how was she doing how was her body was had a lot of problems at that point how was she doing [01:00:50] Speaker 2: mentally how did she seem to be mentally i don't see any big big changes at that time but like you know most of the time remains sleeping like little bit kind of lazy but mentally like a little bit not very happy supposed to be very fantastic support because we have a baby supposed to celebrate type of but not that but like kind of not very unusual but not very usual as well was she um was she tired so usually like i work at that time that many hours only i spend with her like once i come at one o'clock one to two sometimes you know usually i take rest at my second job so just few hours uh so and then mostly we talk on the phone so i do not have every single details but like you know looks okay but like you know not happy as happy as before how we are excited about the baby and then so was her how how did her recovery go how how long did it take for her to recover i think almost uh that headache the problem on the head that goes like a couple doctors visit this and that so some medications maybe two weeks three weeks i do not recall exactly but other as a whole like you know we are start walking outside on the neighborhood after a month or month and a half something like that about a month [01:02:25] Speaker 1: and a half she can be a little more active yes was your mom there yes during that who was who is caring [01:02:35] Speaker 2: while you're at work and mom does recovering my mom and then once my dad came still my mom does the most [01:02:42] Speaker 1: but like my mom and dad okay and was your mom um who was doing the meals usually meals means like meal for whole family or for the baby or like dinners or if who's cooking was mom [01:02:58] Speaker 2: to cooking for herself first a month or month and a half uh no but like she gave the instruction so like nobody able to cook like her so we are not the good cook my mom is okay cook but not the best like her but like she gave us the instructions so you know did your best yeah try our best [01:03:20] Speaker 1: okay um how long did it take it before how long did it take before mamta went back to work after [01:03:28] Speaker 2: i was born about four months or little plus minus four months i guess little over four months [01:03:38] Speaker 1: um did you start noticing any changes in mamta's demeanor or how she acted or how she treated you or other people around her during this time [01:03:59] Speaker 2: a little bit not a lot a little bit like the way she used to do like happy very active less active you know less enjoying the same stuff we used to enjoy and then at that time top of that if you have two jobs like the way i enter to the home you know so i my attention goes more and because i don't have a you know like whole day and then i have the weekend so whole weekends even sleep i try to wake her up and then want to play with her so so she doesn't like sometimes that like you know you focusing on like you know that's i don't take at abnormal so you are the one in you are not the only father in the world like you know you are who gave you the daughter stuff like that but like those are normal stuff yeah okay um [01:04:57] Speaker 1: did this did so these these little changes did they become did they did they grow did they get to be bigger changes over you know after four you said it was about four months before she went back [01:05:10] Speaker 2: to work did you see larger changes start to happen yeah a little bit getting you know first few months little less and then keep slowly keep growing up keep growing up keep growing up keep growing up and what what kind of changes are you talking about here usually what she used to enjoy not enjoying anymore what type of you know like let's say we used to make a joke those joke are not any more funny the same jokes are not any more funny so the same food how she instruct to do this how she control the kitchen she stopped controlling kitchen otherwise hey it's my kitchen you know like you know whatever she say everybody has to follow the her order so she's less interested on that is always with the grandmom and then granddad because they never had a grandkid before so they were waiting for a long time first time first time they came and now they don't see the any sign they even go back so i was you know a hundred percent they work a little bit yes and then she wasn't working at that time as well i was in a full-time two full-time job and then she recommend me you know like now you are doing too much so like you know you are making decent money still you're doing two jobs so you got a quick job and then find another job i said okay like then help me because my job doesn't allow phone one of the job so in your computer also i'm gonna give this stuff to do and then you know we both gonna find the job and that that's after like three two three months i find the job at the department of justice so that's how i got [01:06:57] Speaker 1: is she less happy yes how did you react to those changes at the time at that time i do not pay attention so if she says [01:07:13] Speaker 2: something okay you know i do my own business because i have you know like i have a lot of substitute you know so especially i had and then at night i do not have because she sleep with a grandmom so as much as possible and then she doesn't remain awake most of the time she want to sleep so whenever i find the time i want to spend those time with [01:07:38] Speaker 1: so did um did she have a when your mom came to help did she have a good relationship with your mom at that time when she first came to help best relationship i have never even [01:07:51] Speaker 2: i do not have that good relationship even when she bring my dad i was at work i did not know and then mamta sent me a picture my dad has what and then yeah dad was already there and that was i think tuesday because i came home at one o'clock leave 5 30 so i meet my dad personally on saturday so she bring all those you know like she doing like all those stuff back and forth from nepal getting any stuff all those clothes medications uh spices so those all and um and then specifically how did your mom [01:08:33] Speaker 1: mamta and your mom how did they interact with each other very good like a sisters or like a friends not even like a mother-in-law no um did you did you become frustrated with mamta during this time when [01:08:53] Speaker 2: she wasn't as happy and she wasn't she was a little bit more critical not very much a little bit sometimes but like you know i have other options to do so not very much like sometimes we used to do the same stuff and then you know if i do the same type of joke we used to do those are getting bad and then i stopped like you know minimizing those stuff stop making jokes uh minimizing not like i did not stop but like you know minimizing those jokes and then later sometimes for example we used to make some bad jokes as well like bad jokes mean i'm gonna take my word back bad means doesn't sound good but very funny like fart oh one time i even like tried to call her mom because i saw like there was a little bit crack on our wall you fart because you want to break my home because you fart stuff like that that goes later that used to be very funny then later that was you know same stuff getting serious and it's not funny to her anymore no you know sometimes it's okay and then after that at night if i cough you're coughing too loud and then sometimes you know like if i'm usually i wake up 4 4 30 because i have to go early work uh you flush toilet multiple times you need to floss only one time why you keep the light on why you turn the light off why you turn the tv on you know small stuff i say like that's your home you know like that's not that's not my job so do you react to her when she would be like sometimes a little bit yes sometimes no sometimes yes do you ever react [01:10:34] Speaker 1: to her with physical in a physical way never [01:10:42] Speaker 2: we don't have that type of even family tradition i never see my father all of my four of my father no uncles i have never seen anybody doing physical and then i never remember when was my last physical [01:10:55] Speaker 1: fight with other kids or i'm not that type of person where mom is concerned you did not ever physically touch her in anger during this time no [01:11:11] Speaker 2: was mom to a good mother she's a mother good mother every mother our good mother [01:11:19] Speaker 1: looking back now can you see concerning things about mom his mental health yes did you do anything to help her at the time not really did you know what was happening to her at the time no i just see the what's going on but not really [01:11:47] Speaker 2: i did not pay deep attention what's going on this that i did not do that [01:11:58] Speaker 1: so let's move forward now to the time frame that is like december or january of 2023 through to february of 2024 was there a moment that you can look back on and say everything changed here [01:12:22] Speaker 2: would you mind to repeat one more time please [01:12:24] Speaker 1: yeah during that time from december january of 2020 december 2023 to february of 2024 yeah would you mind to go after see done yeah okay that's good so we can be consecutive of these year yes um was there can when you look back at that time was there can you can you pinpoint or put your finger on your finger on when something changed or or not yes of course and and what do you think it was can you can you describe what when that was [01:13:08] Speaker 2: i how to describe you know like would you mind to repeat one more time that yeah if and and it's it's [01:13:19] Speaker 1: a hard question and it may be that there isn't an answer to this um was there could you look back and say now when you're looking backwards that there's a moment or a time or a period where you're like oh that was when everything changed or did it not happen like that [01:13:50] Speaker 2: yes a few moment like you know noticeable moment after january you know like after new year christmas new year after that a few moment like i can you know look at back kind of hindsight is 2020 i can see that those moments i can change i i should change or something like that and so um [01:14:15] Speaker 1: were there tensions was there tension between your parents and mamta during this time at that time no and um was attached to your parents at this time it sounds like she was very much yes um and during that again after the first of the year through february how were you and mamta treating one [01:14:40] Speaker 2: another during this time very normal not funny uh not you know like inter not reacting to you know one another uh not consulting a lot not talking a lot to each other was that unusual yes um were you paying [01:15:04] Speaker 1: attention to momta not really um were you um were you being kind to each other nice to each other [01:15:24] Speaker 2: uh it's not very unkind but not not kind as well um were you were you [01:15:31] Speaker 1: was your conversations we see each other becoming more critical or more unhappy i do not want to put [01:15:41] Speaker 2: that way we have way less conversation and then way like less instruction to each other way less help to each other for example the way she handled the kitchen and then she take care of you know that the food how i love and then sometimes i take care of about her hey why you did not go walking let's go walking or why you did not you know do this let's pour her and then you know i used to do all not all almost all her uh trainings uh at the work whatever training do at home i used to do that uh although all those trainings as well i stopped doing those uh some of those noticeable stops yes and then mostly like whenever i'm i have a free time playing with the nema and stuff like that yes not spending time with her yes even like you know i quit one job still yes um did you were there were there things that you would [01:16:52] Speaker 1: say to one another that were kind of threats about the relationship yes pretty much what kinds of things [01:17:01] Speaker 2: if those stuff you know sometimes doesn't go doesn't go very well like you know okay it doesn't go well [01:17:08] Speaker 1: you know i'm gonna divorce you stuff like that and was that you saying that to her or her saying that to [01:17:14] Speaker 2: you both each other but like she doesn't treat me with the divorce i usually do way more than her and what would she say she also says sometimes you know i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that i'm not gonna do this i will suicide i'll uh do this that stuff like that so is that did that was were those kinds [01:17:37] Speaker 1: of threats verbal threats something you had ever done before the two of you had ever done before [01:17:44] Speaker 2: not really way before no not really like just i don't know when it started it started slowly very slowly i realized a little bit right after the new year celebration before that i do not have any point oh this happened right here that happened right there i do not have any point but i if i take a look now i see those clearly now but that wasn't noticeable right after the new year we celebrate new year we all dance together one of my cousin brother mamta we all friends go fairfax after three or four days of that new year it was really noticeable that was the first big noticeable stuff happens between us [01:18:26] Speaker 1: and um when you were trying to show her that you you were unhappy with how she was acting what kinds of [01:18:38] Speaker 2: things would you do i just leave i just don't talk i just don't you know like don't help or you know don't eat you the biggest stuff is i don't eat especially if she cook definitely i'm not gonna eat [01:18:56] Speaker 1: if i'm not happy so if you were you would refuse food that she made yes so it wasn't that you wouldn't eat you just wouldn't eat food that she's offering you yes and um would you would you talk to her would you acknowledge her presence if you're in the room sometimes yes sometimes no um did that did that help sometimes yes sometimes no did it um did it make her feel better [01:19:27] Speaker 2: used to be yes later now it goes keep getting worse even back in a time if i did that she said like oh it happens it's okay sometimes i say sorry sometimes she says sorry and then move move on and then if i did the same thing it doesn't go well uh it getting more worse getting more angry stuff like that [01:19:51] Speaker 1: um you said that you used to threaten divorce and she would threaten other things sometimes like suicide what does nepali culture think about divorce [01:20:02] Speaker 2: it's not good at all not like the way american culture is it's completely different i don't know how to describe in words but now in the cities you know rich family who are not very cultural you know you can hear here and there a little bit but uh like typical type of my type of family is less common i don't have any family member or anyone in my part family there was divorce or i in my knowledge i don't know anybody in my village in my town i don't know [01:20:36] Speaker 1: anybody who has a divorce and is that true across nepali culture including where mamta is from [01:20:44] Speaker 2: it is little uh not that bad compared to because uh she is from close to the city and then eastern type eastern part of the country is more developed well educated better educated or something like that those you know close to the cities if you move western part of the country it is like more country type of [01:21:08] Speaker 1: like west virginia type of place um does it do does a divorce affect more people than just the couple [01:21:17] Speaker 2: that's involved uh the marriage over there is not between two girl and boys between two families so it [01:21:25] Speaker 1: affects whole two families and relatives as well um does it impact a woman or a man more more women but [01:21:35] Speaker 2: affect men as well but more like way more females um how looking back how is your mental health at this time not at the best stage but not at the worst of the worst but not at the best of my are you happy sometimes yes sometimes majority of times yes sometimes no um [01:22:05] Speaker 1: so mr vat looking back um as you're picturing like this december january leading up to february time frame would you change how you treated manta yes if you could yes um how would you change what would you do differently judging the speculation he's saying what he would choose to do yeah how would what looking back how would you change what you would do [01:22:36] Speaker 2: just do normal what i was making the things i was choosing to react with the similar stuff not to do that and then consult with the seniors consult with the families consult with the you know experts or you know consult with our seniors mom dad you know stuff like that you know seniors mostly i'm going to say seniors and by that you mean older people yes older people yes older people's yes they they already been through the life we are living they they know everything you know [01:23:14] Speaker 1: what the life is we don't know a lot do you know do you remember when mamta left um your family home [01:23:24] Speaker 2: the family home for a few days in february do you remember that i believe it was february 16th 2024 [01:23:32] Speaker 1: do you um did anything happen at around that time that she and how long was she gone for i guess three days okay did anything happen during that time frame before she left yes what happened [01:23:52] Speaker 2: that was like you know i i at that time i work at in dc so especially that you know not very concerned about each other's on the one incident happened somewhere in january two incident in january so that the february 14th she was somewhere outside i believe i'm not 100 sure she was at sarita's home and sarita takes me or call me i do not recall that so they want to go for celebration of valentine day that 14 february is valentine day i say like i i say like i'm going home i'm about to home so like the food is ready i did not know mamta with her or nearby her i don't know that you know i had some sort of conversation maybe month already cooked food or something like that and then she did not tell me month is there or something like that and then i reach home i eat the food and then she say like you know she's here so let's go uh for the you know somewhere eat outside that sounds you know like it's normal manta and i do not use usually eat outside i have a health issue she is pure vegetarian so usually like if we have to celebration usually celebration at home or you know a specific type of so i say i already at that time really i already ate and then mumta wasn't there i already ate i say like i already ate and then i'm playing with so and i i already ate and then we playing so like i'm not gonna go anywhere so i did not know like those together later mumta came at uh 7 30 some something like that usually we go bed at 8 around 8 30 or 7 to 8 usually i already upstairs or something like that and then my mom cleaning the kitchen something like that and mumta came and then my dad and then mumta has a very good relationship as well my mom where you been and then she say like she was begging at the intersection and then begging for the food she was begging for food yeah that's what like she said uh begging for food and then begging begging and then making money i said i heard they were laughing and then you know like what's going on well you know mumta was saying like why you are laughing i'm telling you the truth or something something like that i just heard i did not pay attention okay whatever it is because we were not it's been few weeks we are not paying a lot of attention to each other and then there is another festival on the same time we call shibaratri the night of shiba is one of the god so i say like we don't celebrate uh valentine day we celebrate shibaratri so shibaratri is similar type of festival of the love of some god and then usually women pray for that god stuff like that so later nothing happens i go my my bed you know before usually i go bed usually i pay my bills whatever it needed to be done check my notifications stuff like that i say like uh one thousand dollar withdrawn from the bank account and i i don't know who like that i never ever see before mumta withdraw anytime i don't believe mumta did it so i because you know she was saying something like that i think it was maybe some scam or something like that i try to figure it out they the sometimes i make a call or something like that look like they say it's a legitimate or something that's though i remember yeah that is the word i remember legitimate so i and then at that time mumta already came mumta was on the room i think she was in a period or i don't know because we are not talking very well she was in the another room and i write it down on the piece of paper and then i slide [01:28:09] Speaker 1: and then knock on the door and then she say you eat it you slid the piece of paper under the door [01:28:15] Speaker 2: yeah i look look like it's a sticky note and then yellow sticky note i guess i write it down on that yellow sticky note did you draw the money because you know like i don't see otherwise we have to make uh they say if you find it's not legitimate complain complain or claim something like that then i did that uh knock and then she said no i did not do it so then they say like they did it you know this is the debit card number like that's what they were saying yes i did like you know why you are giving me torture at this time so i say okay you did it you did it you know it doesn't matter otherwise last time we had a 300 something dollar gone so we have to do that you know because take it back in a time so that's what happens later mumta goes in my in in in