Naresh Bhatt ADMITS Fighting Before Mamta Vanished

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: and and then you did you move to a new house yeah on the ninth day we moved okay once you got to that house did she where did she stay in the house on the living [00:00:14] Speaker 2: room not upstairs like where the TV or kitchen is on the main floor on the main [00:00:22] Speaker 1: floor that is correct did she go up and down the stairs there as far as I [00:00:27] Speaker 2: remember up to onto a up to a month or something no okay how was she doing how [00:00:36] Speaker 1: was her body was had a lot of problems at that point how is she doing mentally how [00:00:42] Speaker 2: would how did she seem to be mentally I don't see any biggest big changes at that time but like you know most of the time remains sleeping like little bit kind of lazy but mentally like little bit not very happy supposed to be very fantastic support because we have a baby supposed to celebrate type of but not that but like kind of not very unusual but not very usual as well was she was she tired usually like I work at that time that many hours one day I spend with her like once I come at one o'clock one to two sometimes you know usually I take rest at my second job so just a few hours so and then mostly we talk on the phone so I do not have every single details but like you know looks okay but like you know not have as happy as before how we are excited about the baby and then so [00:01:44] Speaker 1: How did her recovery go? How long did it take for her to recover? [00:01:51] Speaker 2: I think almost that headache, the problem on the head, that goes like a couple doctors visit, this and that, so some medications, maybe two weeks, three weeks, I do not recall exactly. But other as a whole, we start walking outside on the neighborhood after a month or a month and a half, something like that. [00:02:15] Speaker 1: About a month and a half, she can be a little more active. [00:02:18] Speaker 2: Yes. [00:02:19] Speaker 1: Was your mom there during that? Yes. Who was caring for Nima while you were at work and mom was recovering? [00:02:28] Speaker 2: My mom and then once my dad came, still my mom does the most, but like my mom and dad. [00:02:35] Speaker 1: And was your mom, who was doing the meals? [00:02:39] Speaker 2: Usually, meals means like meal for whole family or for the baby. [00:02:45] Speaker 1: Or like dinners or who's cooking, was mom cooking for herself? [00:02:50] Speaker 2: First, a month or a month and a half, no, but like she gave the instruction, so like nobody able to cook like her, so we are not the good cook. My mom is okay cook, but not the best like her, but like she gave us the instruction, so, you know. Did your best? Yeah, try our best. [00:03:09] Speaker 1: How long did it take it before, how long did it take before mom to went back to work after Nima was born? [00:03:19] Speaker 2: About four months or little plus-minus four months, I guess little over four months. [00:03:28] Speaker 1: Did you start noticing any changes in Mamta's demeanor or how she acted or how she treated you or other people around her during this time? [00:03:42] Speaker 2: A little bit, not a lot, a little bit like the way she used to do, like happy, very active, less active, you know, less enjoying the same stuff we used to enjoy. And then at that time, top of that, if you have two jobs, like the way I entered to the home, where is Nima? You know, so I, my attention goes more to Nima and because I don't have a, you know, like whole day and then I have the weekend. So, whole weekends, so, whole weekends, even in my sleep, I try to wake her up and then want to play with her. So, so, she doesn't like sometimes that like, you know, you focusing on like, you know, that's, I don't take that abnormal. So, you are the one, you are not the only father in the world, like, you know, you are, who gave you the daughter? It's not like that, but like those are normal stuff, yeah. [00:04:42] Speaker 1: Okay. Did this, did, so these, these little changes, did they become, did they, did they grow? Did they get to be bigger changes over, you know, after four, you said it was about four months before she went back to work. Did you see larger changes start to happen? [00:05:05] Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit getting, you know, first few months, little less and then keep, slowly keep growing up, keep growing up, keep growing up. [00:05:14] Speaker 1: And what, what kind of changes are you talking about here? [00:05:18] Speaker 2: Usually what she used to enjoy, not enjoying anymore. What type of, you know, like, let's say we used to make a joke. Those jokes are not any more funny. The same jokes are not any more funny. So, the same food, how she instruct to do this, how she control the kitchen. She stopped controlling kitchen, otherwise, hey, it's my kitchen, you know, like, you know, whatever she say, everybody has to follow the, her order. So, she's less interested on that. Nima is always with the grandmom and then granddad because they never had a grandkid before. So, they were waiting for a long time. First time they came and they, oh, they don't see any sign. They even go back. So, Nima was, you know, a hundred percent day working. A little bit, yes. And then she wasn't working at that time as well. I was in a full-time, two full-time job. And then she recommend me, you know, like, no, you are doing too much. So, like, you know, you are making decent money. Still, you're doing two jobs. So, you got a quick job and then find another job. I said, okay, like, then help me because my job doesn't allow for one of the jobs. So, in your computer also, I'm going to give this stuff to do and then, you know, we're both going to find the job. And that's after like two, three months, I find the job at the Department of Justice. So, that's how I got. [00:06:48] Speaker 1: Was she less happy? [00:06:50] Speaker 2: Yes. [00:06:56] Speaker 1: How did you react to those changes at the time? [00:07:00] Speaker 2: At that time, I do not pay attention. So, if she says something, okay, you know, I do my own business because I have NEMA, you know, like, I have a lot of substitute, you know. So, especially I had a NEMA. And then at night, I do not have a NEMA because she sleep with a grandmom. So, as much as possible. And then she doesn't remain awake. Most of the time, she want to sleep. So, whenever I find the time, I want to spend those time with the NEMA. [00:07:29] Speaker 1: So, did she have a, when your mom came to help, did she have a good relationship with your mom at that time when she first came to help? [00:07:39] Speaker 2: Best relationship. I have never, even, I do not have that good relationship. Even when she bring my dad, I was at work. I did not know. And then Momta sent me a picture. My dad has a NEMA. What? And then, yeah, dad was already there. And that was, I think, Tuesday. Because I came home at one o'clock, leave 5:30. So, I meet my dad personally on Saturday. So, she bring all those, you know, like, she doing like all those stuff back and forth from Nepal. Getting any stuff, all those clothes, medications, spices. So, those all. [00:08:17] Speaker 1: And then, specifically, how did NEMA and your mom, not NEMA, Momta and your mom, how did they interact with each other? [00:08:28] Speaker ?: Very good. [00:08:29] Speaker 2: Like sisters or like friends. [00:08:31] Speaker 1: So, not even like a mother-in-law? No. Did you, did you become frustrated with Momta during this time when she wasn't as happy and she wasn't, she was a little bit more critical? [00:08:50] Speaker 2: Not very much. A little bit sometimes. But like, you know, I have other options to do. So, not very much. Like, sometimes we used to do the same stuff. And then, you know, if I do the same type of joke we used to do, those are getting bad. And then I stop like, you know, minimizing those stuff. [00:09:08] Speaker 1: Stop making jokes? [00:09:10] Speaker 2: Minimizing. Minimizing. Not like, I did not stop, but like, you know, minimizing those jokes. And then, later, sometimes, for example, we used to make some bad jokes as well. Like, bad jokes mean, I'm going to take my word back. Bad means, doesn't sound good, but very funny. Like, fart. Oh. One time, I even like, tried to call her mom because I saw like, there was a little bit crack on our wall. You fart because you want to break my home because you fart. Stuff like that. That goes later. That used to be very funny. Then later, that goes, you know, same stuff, getting serious. [00:09:49] Speaker 1: And it's not funny to her anymore. [00:09:51] Speaker 2: No, you know. Sometimes, it's okay. And then, after that, at night, if I cough, you coughing too loud. And then, sometimes, you know, like, if I'm, usually I wake up 4:30 because I have to go early. Well, you flush toilet multiple times. You need to flush only one time. Why you keep the light on. Why you turn the light off. Why you turn the TV on. You know, small stuff. I say, like, that's your home. You know, like, that's not my job, so do your stuff. [00:10:18] Speaker 3: Do you react to her when she would be like that? [00:10:20] Speaker 2: Sometimes, a little bit, yes. Sometimes, no. Sometimes, yes. [00:10:24] Speaker 3: Do you ever react to her in a physical way? [00:10:28] Speaker 2: Never. We don't have that type of even family tradition. I never see my father, all of my four of my father, no, uncles. I have never seen anybody doing physical, and then I never remember when was my last physical fight with other kids, or I'm not that type of person. [00:10:49] Speaker 1: Where Mamta is concerned, you did not ever physically touch her in anger during this time. No. Was Mamta a good mother? [00:11:04] Speaker 2: She's a mother. Good mother. Every mother, our good mother. [00:11:09] Speaker 1: Looking back now, can you see concerning things about Mamta's mental health? Yes. Did you do anything to help her at the time? [00:11:26] Speaker 2: Not really. [00:11:29] Speaker 1: Did you know what was happening to her at the time? [00:11:32] Speaker 2: No. I just see what's going on, but not really. I did not pay deep attention what's going on, this, that. I did not do that. [00:11:43] Speaker 1: So let's move forward now to the timeframe that is like December or January of 2023 through to February of 2024. Was there a moment that you can look back on and say everything changed here? [00:12:12] Speaker 2: Would you mind to repeat one more time, please? [00:12:15] Speaker 1: Yeah. During that time from December, January of 2020, December 2023 to February, March 2024. Excuse me. [00:12:26] Speaker 2: Yeah. Would you mind to go after she's done? [00:12:29] Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. That's good. So we can be consecutive. It'll be easier. [00:12:34] Speaker ?: Yes. [00:12:35] Speaker 1: Was there, can, when you look back at that time, was there, can you, can you pinpoint or put your finger on when something changed or not? [00:12:48] Speaker 4: Yes, of course. And what do you think it was? [00:12:50] Speaker 1: Can you, can you describe what, when that was? [00:13:03] Speaker 2: I, how to describe, you know, like, would you mind to repeat one more time that? [00:13:08] Speaker 1: Yeah. If, and, and it's, it's a hard question and it may be that there isn't an answer to this. Um, was there, could, could you look back and say now, when you're looking backwards, that there's a moment or a time or a period where you're like, oh, that was when everything changed? Or did it not happen like that? [00:13:41] Speaker 2: Yes. Few moment, like, you know, noticeable moment after January, you know, like after new year, Christmas, new year, after that few moments, like I can, you know, look at back kind of hindsight is 2020. I can see that those moments I can change. I, I should change or something like that. [00:14:01] Speaker 1: And so, um, were there tensions, was there tension between your parents and Mamta during this time? At that time? [00:14:12] Speaker 2: No. [00:14:13] Speaker 1: And, um, was Nima attached to your parents at this time? It sounds like she was. Very much. [00:14:20] Speaker 2: Yes. [00:14:21] Speaker 1: Um, and during that again, after the first of the year through February, how were you and Mamta treating one another during this time? [00:14:36] Speaker 2: Very normal, not funny. Uh, not, you know, like, uh, interact, not reacting to, uh, you know, one another, uh, not consulting a lot, not talking a lot to each other. [00:14:49] Speaker 1: Was that unusual? [00:14:51] Speaker 2: Yes. [00:14:52] Speaker 1: Um, were you paying attention to Mamta? Not really. Um, were you, um, were you being kind to each other, nice to each other? [00:15:12] Speaker 2: Uh, it's not very unkind, but not, not kind as well. [00:15:19] Speaker 1: Um, were you, were you, was your conversations with each other becoming more critical or more unhappy? I do not want to put that way. [00:15:31] Speaker 2: Um, I do not want to put that way. We have way less conversation and then way like less instruction to each other, way less help to each other. For example, the way she handle the kitchen and then she take care of, you know, like the food, how I love. And then sometimes I take care of about her. Hey, why you did not go walking? Let's go walking. Or why you did not, you know, do this? Let's go for her. And then, you know, I used to do all, not all, almost all her, uh, trainings, uh, at the work, whatever training do at home. I used to do that. Uh, although all those trainings as well, I stopped doing those. Uh, some of those noticeable stops. Yes. And then mostly like whenever I'm, I have a free time playing with the Nima and stuff like that. Yes. [00:16:30] Speaker 1: Not, not spending time with her. [00:16:32] Speaker 2: Yes. Even like, you know, I quit one job still. Yes. [00:16:37] Speaker 1: Um, did you, were there, were there things that you would say to one another that were kind of threats about the relationship? [00:16:48] Speaker 2: Yes, pretty much. [00:16:49] Speaker 1: What kinds of things? [00:16:51] Speaker 2: If those stuff, you know, sometimes doesn't go, doesn't go very well. Uh, like, you know, okay, it doesn't go well, you know, I'm going to divorce you, stuff like that. [00:17:01] Speaker 1: And was that you saying that to her or her saying that to you? Both each other. [00:17:06] Speaker 2: But like, she doesn't treat me with the divorce. I usually do way more than her. [00:17:12] Speaker 1: And what would she say? [00:17:13] Speaker 2: She also says sometimes, you know, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. I'm not going to do this. I will suicide. I'll, uh, do this, that, stuff like that. [00:17:23] Speaker 1: So, is the, did that, was, were those kinds of threats, verbal threats, something you had ever done before, the two of you had ever done before? [00:17:34] Speaker 2: Not really. Not really. Way before, no, not really. Like just, I don't know when it started. It started slowly, very slowly. I realized a little bit right after the new year celebration. Before that, I do not have any point. Oh, this happened right here. That happened right there. I do not have any point. But I, if I take a look now, I see those clearly now, but that wasn't noticeable. Right after the new year, we celebrate new year. We all dance together. One of my cousin brother, Momta, we all friends, go Fairfax. After three or four days of that new year, it was really noticeable. That was the first big noticeable stuff happens between us. [00:18:17] Speaker 1: And, um, when you were trying to show her that you, you were unhappy with her, you were unhappy with how she was acting, what kinds of things would you do? [00:18:31] Speaker 2: I just leave. I just don't talk. I just don't, you know, like, don't help or, you know, don't eat. You, the biggest stuff is I don't eat. Especially if she cook, definitely I'm not gonna eat if I'm not happy. [00:18:48] Speaker 1: So if you were, you would refuse food that she made? [00:18:51] Speaker 2: Yes. [00:18:52] Speaker 1: So it wasn't that you wouldn't eat. You just wouldn't eat food that she's offering you. [00:18:55] Speaker 2: Yes. [00:18:56] Speaker 1: And, um, would you, would you talk to her? Would you acknowledge her presence? If you're in the room? [00:19:03] Speaker ?: Sometimes, yes. [00:19:04] Speaker 2: Sometimes, no. [00:19:05] Speaker 1: Um, did that, did that help? Sometimes, yes. [00:19:12] Speaker 2: Sometimes, no. [00:19:13] Speaker 1: Did it, um, did it make her feel better? Used to be yes. [00:19:17] Speaker 2: Later now, it goes, keep getting worse. Even back in a time, if I did that, she's like, oh, it happens. It's okay. Sometimes I say sorry. Sometimes she says sorry. And then move, move on. And then if I did the same thing, it doesn't go well. Uh, it getting more worse, getting more angry, stuff like that. [00:19:40] Speaker 1: Um, you said that you used to threaten divorce, and she would threaten other things, sometimes like suicide. What does Nepali culture think about divorce? [00:19:51] Speaker 2: Hmm, it's not good at all. Not like the way American culture is. It's completely different. I don't know how to describe in words, but now in the cities, you know, rich family who are not very cultural, you know, you can hear here and there a little bit, but, uh, like typical type of, my type of family is less common. Um, I don't have any family member or anyone in my part family. There was divorce or I, in my knowledge, I don't know anybody in my village, in my town. I don't know anybody who has a divorce. [00:20:28] Speaker 1: And is that true across Nepali culture, including where Mamta is from? [00:20:34] Speaker 2: It is little, uh, not that bad compared to, because, uh, she's from close to the city. And then Eastern, Eastern part of the country is more developed, well-educated, better educated, or something like that. Those, you know, close to the cities. If you move, uh, Western part of the country, it is like more country type of, like West Virginia type of place. [00:21:00] Speaker 1: Um, does it, do, does a divorce affect more people than just the couple that's involved? [00:21:08] Speaker 2: Uh, the marriage over there is not between two girls and boys, between two families. So it affect whole two families and relatives as well. [00:21:18] Speaker 1: Um, does it impact a woman or a man more? [00:21:23] Speaker 2: More women, but, uh, affect men as well, but more like, way more females. [00:21:29] Speaker 1: Um, how, looking back, how was your mental health at this time? [00:21:36] Speaker 2: Not at the best stage, but not at the worst of the worst, but not at the best of my... Are you happy? Um, sometimes yes, uh, sometimes, majority of times yes, sometimes no. [00:21:54] Speaker 1: Um, so Mr. Vaught, looking back, um, as you're picturing like this December, January, leading up to February timeframe, would you change how you treated Mamta? Yes. [00:22:09] Speaker 2: If you could? [00:22:10] Speaker 1: Yes. Um, how would you change? What would you do differently? Objection of speculation. He's saying what he would choose to do. Yeah. How would, what, looking back, how would you change what you were doing? [00:22:25] Speaker 2: Just do normal, what I was making, the things I was choosing to react with the similar stuff, not to do that and then consult with the seniors, consult with the families, consult with the, you know, experts or, you know, consult with our seniors, mom, dad, you know, stuff like you know, seniors, mostly I'm going to say seniors. [00:22:55] Speaker 1: And by that you mean older people? [00:22:57] Speaker 2: Yes. Older people. Yes. Older peoples. Yes. They, they already been through the life we are living. They, they know everything, you know, what the life is. We don't know a lot.