Maine Democrats Held a Debate. It Was a Disaster.

[0:00] Well, Graham Plattner, you know, the Nazi tattoo guy who is allegedly rapey, but not in the gateway [0:05] of home invaders anyway, and also allegedly rapey toward actual women. He has dropped out of that [0:09] main Senate race. But as of yesterday, Graham Plattner appears to have reappeared in a dress [0:14] to run for office again after shaving. I'm kind of like half kidding, sort of. I'll show you what [0:19] I'm talking about in just a second. But truly, democracy happening in Maine, democracy in action, [0:24] the best and brightest assembled for a Senate debate yesterday. It was straight out of SNL, [0:28] truly. I've been saying for years now, it's as true as ever. Politics is much more veep than it [0:33] is House of Cards. So remember, Graham Plattner was ousted from that race. It turned out that the [0:37] Nazi tattoo wasn't enough to out him. It was the multiple rape allegations that eventually did it. [0:41] Realistically, the reason that he was ousted by the Democrats is because he was running behind [0:45] Susan Collins. They decided to replace him. I will say the slate of possible replacements in Maine [0:50] for the Democrats. It's not great, Bob. It's not the best. So one of the people running is one Ashley [0:59] Webb. Ashley Webb is a is an openly trans and intersex woman, meaning a man who believes that [1:08] he is a woman. But I will say there's a striking resemblance to Graham Plattner. So I do have to [1:15] ask at least the question. I'm just asking questions as people are fond of doing whether [1:19] Graham Plattner just shaved, put on a dress and got back into the race here. But Ashley Webb, [1:25] his campaign, Ashley Webb, Take No Prisoners, that's the name of the great day, was asked [1:35] about his credentials to be a senator. And here's what that sounded like. [1:43] Ashley Webb, what qualifications do you have to serve in the U.S. Senate? [1:47] Oh, I ran for office several times. Didn't win, but I did run. And then I'm a songwriter. [1:54] And then I write my own books. And then I suppose my transparency, I wouldn't lie to the people and [2:02] I wouldn't deceive the people like we're being deceived right now. Like I wouldn't lie to the [2:13] people and I wouldn't deceive the people, said the man dressed as a woman. Well, why is Ashley [2:21] Webb running? Again, this is the person who wants to run against Susan Collins. Why is Ashley Webb [2:25] running? Well, because Ashley Webb just wants to be able to use the ladies bathroom, this rather [2:31] large hulking dude. With the trans community, like we're being dehumanized. They say that we [2:40] want to hurt people. I don't want to hurt anybody. I just want to use the bathroom. And if they want [2:45] me to use the men's room, I will. I don't want to be assaulted. I just want to poop is [2:53] okay. I guess Grand Planner was the best of the bunch, I guess. I mean, I thought, hey, man, [3:01] they can't go like really. The best you could come up with is Nazi tattoo, multiple rape allegation [3:05] guy. And the main Democrats are like, yep, that was best we could do as best we could do. It's [3:10] like an episode of pawn shop. That was best they could do. Now, what would you do if a $100 bill [3:14] just suddenly fell from the sky and into your wallet? Well, if you've heard me talk about pure [3:18] talk over the years and thought, yeah, maybe someday I'll do that. This would be that day [3:21] because right now they are offering you three months for 15 bucks on any plan. It's one of the [3:26] easiest recommendations I've ever made because again, this is a very, very, very good deal, [3:31] like a great deal. Again, in case you missed it for the first time ever, every pure talk plan [3:35] is just 15 bucks a month for your first three months. 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Here's another main Democrat named Elizabeth Dickerson [4:17] who says that she is running because she is interested in the weather. [4:24] But I did this because I'm very interested in climate and President Trump has done about [4:32] everything he can do to strip away any protections that we have on climate. [4:36] Hmm. Electric. Man, the shining electricity from that candidacy. But don't worry, there were lots [4:45] and lots of candidates, lots and lots of candidates, some looking like accountants, some looking like [4:50] refugees from the local bar night. Here was one main Democrat named Shana Bellows who was asked [4:58] about daylight savings. And here's how that went. [5:05] The House of Representatives this week approved ending daylight saving time. Would you approve of that? [5:10] Would you vote for that, Shana Bellows? Well, we had a debate about this in the state legislature. [5:13] I'm sure Troy remembers. And I think there are reasons for and against. And I haven't read that House bill, [5:20] but I will when I am senator. Well, you know the general idea of ending daylight saving time. [5:25] Where do you stand? And when I was in the Senate, I think I voted for it. But you'd have to go back [5:28] and look at my record. And you know what? It doesn't sound like there's a lot of conviction [5:32] there. I tell you, I, I love it when it gets light in the morning and gets dark at eight o'clock or [5:41] nine o'clock. That's my favorite summertime. Cool. And your favorite season is the one where [5:48] you wear a light sweater. Oh, goodness gracious. How about main Democrat Nirav Shah? Did Nirav Shah [5:56] have anything good to say? Well, let's find out. [5:58] There are a lot of areas where Graham's policies and mine overlap. One that I think is particularly [6:05] relevant this week is the need to finally abolish ICE. Abolish ICE. Great. This is going well. [6:16] All of them, by the way, are in favor of Medicare for all. They're all in favor of medical, [6:20] Medicaid, Medicare for all. So the man, these progressive geniuses. Here we go. [6:27] You just said you're for Medicare for all. Is everyone on this panel? Dan? No. Yeah. Yeah. [6:32] I mean, yeah. It's incredible. Just checking. Just checking. That's eight for eight with the [6:36] candidates. I'm actually on Medicare. Oh, okay. Well, there you have it. Good story. Good story, [6:45] dude. I'm actually on Medicare. Any other life stories you want to share? I'm actually on Medicare. [6:54] The whole thing is SNL skit. It's SNL skit. What do you think of daylight savings? Well, I really like [7:00] it when it gets light in the morning and dark in the evening times. Cool story. Are you from Medicare [7:06] for all? I'm actually on Medicare. Awesome. What do you think about like the war in Iran? [7:14] Well, actually, I once I once went to a Persian restaurant. Cool story, guys. It turns out the [7:22] Graham Plattner was the most normie Democrat they could come up with. Excellent job, man. Really [7:27] great job. One of the debate commentators. And again, you got to love local news. But here are the [7:33] debate commentators who, again, this is like this is like the fourth line in a high school football team [7:41] of commentators talking about the main about the main debate. Solid stuff here. [7:48] When it comes to charisma, Plattner had a lot of advantages. You know, he was going to, I think, [7:52] maybe mobilize people who aren't likely to show up to vote on a year when there's nobody running for [7:56] president. And I don't think any of those people that we saw just now have that that card to play. [8:03] And I think they know it. They do know it. I mean, I love the Graham Plattner. You're wondering why it [8:10] was that they couldn't come up with somebody who was better than Graham Plattner. And the answer [8:13] where there weren't any. What's going on up in Maine, guys? Like, really, there's no one normal [8:18] up there? Everyone up there is either Graham Plattner, Tucker Carlson, or the trans woman who [8:24] writes children's books and just wants to poop? Like, is that what? Like, come on. There have to [8:28] be some normies up in Maine. Come on. Really? Maybe when Stephen King is writing all those horror [8:35] towns up in Maine. Like, are those just like historical fiction? Like, what are we doing here? [8:41] What are we doing here? I feel like I know some people. I know. I mock Maine. I'm mocking you a [8:45] little bit. But I mean, like, watch that debate. You deserve it a little bit. You deserve it a [8:49] little bit. I make fun of New Yorkers most of the time. But I got to say that that's that's a lot. [8:54] That's a lot happening up there in Maine. You wondered why Susan Collins keeps winning? [8:58] Yeah, she's a talented politician, but also maybe just by default. That's also possible. 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