John Lutz Makes a Passionate Argument About AI Data Centers

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: -Welcome to "Late Night," everybody. This is one of our writers, John Lutz, everybody! Welcome, John. I'm here to be in here. John is a fantastic improviser. He's been studying performing improv for over 30 years. In this new segment, I'm going to present John with a topic. He has no idea what the topic is. He has no idea what I'm about to say. He has no idea what he's about to say. The only thing is he has to take a passionate stance on whatever topic I present him with. Does that make sense, John? Great. Again, he has no idea what I'm about to ask him, so it's time for "John Lutz makes a passionate argument about something he didn't know he'd have to make a passionate argument about." Lutz, you ready, buddy? Let's do it. Many feel AI data centers will disrupt entire ecosystems, drain valuable water resources, tear local communities apart, and pose prolonged, unanticipated risks to public health. -Mm-hmm. -Here to passionately argue why we should build as many AI data centers as humanly possible is John Lutz. John. [00:01:03] John Lutz: -Seth, we need as many of these data centers as possible, and I'll tell you why. There's going to be three points that I'm going to say. Point number one: AI needs these to run. Okay. Point two: communities need to be making more money than making more water. Does that make sense? Let me get to the third point before you come in. I know you're ready chomping at the bit. But point three: I believe that we need to just get rid of all trees. Because green is the most distracting color. [00:01:52] Speaker 1: -Well, I'm going to jump in on point two. You know, a lot of people say these data centers will create local jobs. -Yes. -But some also will say these are short-term jobs, and we are building data centers that will lead to AI, which will actually cost Americans the sort of long-term jobs that underpin our economy. -Okay. [00:02:11] John Lutz: Well, I will strongly disagree with you on that point, and I'll tell you why in three points. -Point number one: I don't know where you're getting information from, but it's probably AI. Circular thinking. -Okay. -Point two: I think that if you look at these small towns, they're like, "Where's all the money? I can't afford my gas. I need a job." They're going to have to be shoveling water into these data centers because that's how they do it, right? They shovel water into the data centers to cool off the coils for these computers. Point three... -That was a full point? -That was one full point. And point three, you're wrong. -Well, I'm going to go back to point one this time. -Thank you. Thank you. [00:03:06] Speaker 1: -Data centers! Data centers! -Can I -- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you actually think they're using physical shovels for the water? [00:03:15] John Lutz: -Yes. They are using water shovels. They're specifically designed shovels to shovel water, much like coal, in the coal days. [00:03:29] Speaker 1: Now, to go -- -And, sorry, just historically, they're known as the coal days? -Yes. The coal days. -Got it. -Yes. What does the water shovel look like? How does it look different than a normal shovel? [00:03:41] John Lutz: -Well, basically, it is a lot wider. -Yeah. -Deeper. -Yeah. -And slick. So that the water just slides right off of it. [00:03:51] Speaker 1: -Well, that's so interesting, because water sort of famously goes over any surface just fine. [00:03:56] John Lutz: This -- But these shovels, they have been seasoned, much like a cast-iron skillet is seasoned. -Seasoned. -Seasoned. -Yeah. -To allow the water to just glide right off. [00:04:12] Speaker 1: -Got it. And so, are these sort of like a one-person shovel? This is sort of a local community person's new job is to take a water shovel. And do they have to season their own, or are they given -- [00:04:22] John Lutz: they do have to season their own. -Okay. -They take the shovels, and then they have to put them in their ovens upside down after they've given a nice layer of just olive oil. But, you know, it could be any type of oil. And for an hour, bake it in the oven. [00:04:37] Speaker 1: -I got a very dumb question. I apologize for -- [00:04:39] John Lutz: -There are no dumb questions! There are no dumb questions. [00:04:43] Speaker 1: -Okay. My oven isn't deep enough to fit a whole shovel. [00:04:49] John Lutz: -Was that a question? That was a statement. -I bought it. Can I try again? -So, there are dumb statements. There are dumb statements. [00:04:57] Speaker 1: -Can I try again? -Yes, please. -My oven isn't deep enough to fit a whole shovel. Is yours, buddy? [00:05:04] John Lutz: -No, but I'm not going to be working in one of these AI data centers. The companies will provide these ovens to the people, which is a whole other business. There's a whole other side business where they'll be making ovens big enough to give to the people in these towns, so there'll be a factory for these ovens next to the AI data centers. [00:05:27] Speaker 1: -So, are you saying that even if the AI data center jobs are short-term and not well-paid, the shovel oven jobs are where we need to be putting our focus? [00:05:36] John Lutz: -Yes. There is a huge -- I would suggest that anybody right now take some money and put it in shovel ovens. [00:05:44] Speaker 1: -Well, that was, in the end, really helpful. Thank you so much, John, for your time. And I don't know if I fully agree with you, but you've certainly given us a lot to think about. [00:05:54] John Lutz: -Thank you, Seth. And I sure -- Which -- Which is my camera? -Just whichever one you want. -I want America to know that I -- -Can we take camera three while he's talking? -Yeah. I want -- Is this camera three? Hi, America. -I want you to all say it with me. -And just real quick, feel free to switch cameras while he's talking. -Yes. Keep going. -America, I want you to all say it with me. I want you to... get on board with the shovel ovens. Shovel ovens! Shovel ovens! -This has been -- -Thank you. [00:06:37] Speaker 1: -John Lux makes a fascinating argument about something he didn't know and doesn't make a fascinating argument but we're having more "Late Night."