Why Did They Make These into Toys?

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: do like the chicken sandwich to have at Burger King, but I don't want to make it. I don't want to come home and play with it. We played with a lot of stupid stuff growing up in the 70s and the 80s, even into the 90s. But part of the stupidest, strangest things we played with was toys based on fast food chains. Pizza Hut toys, Burger King toys, McDonald toys. It's crazy. Our kid wanted to play with them, but we did. I don't know why, but they were fun. Strange, but fun. So let's dig into these weird toys that they made based on fast food chains. I'm still, I still, all these usually, I still can't believe they made these. Let's take a look. And we'll start with one that's kind of, you're like, oh, this is going to be a boring video. No, let's get the worst one out of the way. A Burger King, no, Burger Chef. Yo-Yo. Is that the mascot, the Burger Chef? I don't hardly remember. It's almost hard not to say Booger Chef. That would be a disgusting restaurant, but there you go. Burger Chef. Let's move on to some better ones here, or weirder ones, I guess, is what I, that's what I should have said. And how about a Pizza Hut serving set? You can act like you're serving pizza. Don't worry. We'll get the toy pizza for it later. You got a little cardboard oven. It looks like it might be made out of cardboard. You got plastic forks and knives and everything right there. Hey, you can just use the ones in your drawer. It got some plastic plates that say Pizza Hut on it. And you get a, what, oh, a free coupon. Hell, that's so the parents would buy it. The parents are like, I'm not buying any plastic Pizza Hut silverware. You're like, hey, it comes with a coupon to get a $3 off a large pizza. And you're like, heck yeah, let's go. I don't know if it's $3 or not. And how about, you remember Easy Bake Oven? Well, Pizza Hut did their version of it. Electric Baking Oven. The hell that, I ain't never seen no pizza like that of pizza. What's he eating? It looks like a large Supreme doodoo pizza. That doesn't look like gross. I bet whoever that kid is today. I bet he died of cancer. And what's with his jagged teeth? He got rat teeth. Makes real pizza. That's not a real pizza. And I'm not eating a pizza that was baked under a five watt light bulb. How about a piece of McDonald's? Now I'm going to say McDonald's. Some of you, McDonald's. Well, I've never gone to McDonald's and order a Big Mick. And when they come out with a Big Mick, then I'll call it McDonald's. But for right now, I'm calling it McDonald's. Get over it. McDonald's right here. Hmm. Then again, they'll do call it Mickey D's. Here's a play set. Look at this. Come some little workers, some managers. Oh, they're my customers. Some workers. Some, I don't know, they never had managers in these toys. Uh, some workers and you can act like you're working at McDonald's. It was fun, but I don't know why it was fun. But it was fun that, like, you work there. And here, how about some food for you, McDonald's? You can go home. You can buy this right here and do some role playing. You can be like, Dad, you want me to fix you a Big Mac? Yeah, got some french fries. Got some lettuce. Ugh, throw that in the garbage. That'll give you diarrhea nowadays. Got some, maybe some pickles. Got the darkest bun, uh, not bun, the darkest meat I've ever seen back there. Big Mac. It says right there on the back. It doesn't say Big Mac. And how about Barbie? Barbie even got into the act. Yeah. What happened to Barbie, man? Barbie was, I thought she was an astronaut, surgeon. Now she's working at McDonald's. Barbie, what happened when it stepped down? That seems more work for Dusty. I guess y'all don't know who Dusty is. I guess some of the new guys might be like, who the hell's Dusty? Who are you talking about? Dusty? Made by Kenner, right there. The answer to Barbie. You can do so good in stores. And then we've got another set right here. Look at this. I see the Grimace. He can't kill the Grimace. There he is. Looking out the window. Looks like he's going to take a sniper rifle to something. There. The play set. You open it up, it's got a bunch of places and action figures. McDonald action figures. Yeah, we'll see more of them. How about this? Who would, what, who would, what? Who would buy this? Hot cakes, eggs, and sausages in a little tray, comes with a little pack of syrup. They made this for kids. Kids open it up. Oh, I'm eating my grids for my breakfast. I'm just amazed they made this. I'm more amazed it's sold. Somebody bought this. Look at them eggs. It's making me kind of hungry, I'm going to be honest with you. And here about, well, go to the Burger King. You got the little Burger King doll right here based on the king. He never really took off of the mascot. Didn't they try to creep him out? Well, in the 90s, made him all creepy and everything. And who was that moon mascot? Remember that? What was that? Was that Taco Bell? Remember that? You'll let me know in the comments. Let me know who was the moon mascot. I'll see it in my head. I can't even remember. And then we've got another Burger King home of the Whopper right here. Yeah, you can make your own Burger King bite into it or anything. Don't get crazy. It's got some, I say I see some Dell pickles. I guess it's a Dell pickle. There ain't any other kind of pickles. I guess there's got lettuce. Throw that out there. Give me diarrhea. Made that joke already. Got a bun. Got some meat. You got some tomatoes. You got some tomatoes right there. And it's like a box of french fries. It's like it was empty to start with. And you get the cardboard box to put the burger in. Remember when they used to do that? They still do that? Remember the styrofoam box? Oh, I like the styrofoam box. We got mad. Who was destroying the world? But we didn't care. It was a styrofoam box. And here's for your pizza oven. Instead, you blew a plastic plate. You got a pizza supreme. Ain't no kid eating a pizza supreme pizza. Probably got all kinds of crap on it. Give him pepperoni. And from Fisher Price, McDonald's getting back into the act with a fake Happy Meal. There ain't no toy in here. And you got a frit. You got a, what was that? An apple turnover with eyes? Why does it got eyes on it? I don't want to eat an apple turnover that has a soul. There you go. I got a pancake, I think. Is that a bun or a pancake? Got coffee? This must be the breakfast set. Weird, weird. Who's eating french fries for breakfast? I'm not damn sure I would. I'll tell you that. And here's the one that's not really fast food, but I threw it in here anyway. Supermarket. You can act like you work at the damn supermarket. Why's the kid on the phone? Who in the hell calls a supermarket? Hmm. Can I get a price check on Freezy Mitts? No, you can't. Hmm. Here's a Mac from Mego. The MacDonald Playset Land. Look at it coming with action figures. Action figures and a little play and a creepy tree. Creepy tree. Crazy, right? Cardboard backdrop. My buddy Russ, man. My buddy Russ in Paris would have thrown that away. It ain't any like cardboard in this house for some reason. And here's the action figures for it. MacDonald action figures. Barbie size. That grimace is kind of cool. I'm not going to sit here and lie. I'm not going to perpetrate it like it's not made fun of it. I wouldn't mind that grimace. It looked kind of cool back there in the junk room. And here's a little side note right now. We've got this Jumpman 2nd channel. Best of the clips. Ten years almost of videos. You probably missed a lot. So there's a lot of clips on there. So go over. I'll put a link in the description below. Jumpman. Or just type in that Jumpman Plus. But you'll get some gems that you probably forgot about to have it on this channel. Like this right here. Oh my goodness. Man. Walking on my back. What is it? You said all over. He was right. You don't want to miss that. That Jumpman Plus. Go over there, man. Add free too. Because I ain't got no ad money over there or nothing. And then Pizza Hut. Realistic piece. Realistic play food. I don't know about that. But I like the Pizza Gutter. That would have been a lot of fun. Meow, meow, meow, meow. That would have been a lot of fun to play with you. And let's look at some more. Like here. Look at this. Little people got in the act. Little people McDonald's. Man, McDonald's must have made some kind of deal with the toy company. It's crazy. Got a little, again, a hamburger with eyes on it. Why do they want us to eat? What? The milkshake has eyes. I like that little trash can out there, though. Got to throw away your dead food with eyes when you're eating it, I guess. And here, you can just put this in your yard and act like you're working at McDonald's. Little kids in the neighborhood ride up on their bike and be like, hey, give me a Big Mac. And you'd be like, I ain't got no real food back here. I'm just standing here acting like I work at McDonald's making $5 an hour. And then even Hot Wheels got into the act. Hot Wheels McDonald's race hat. What the hell? Look at that. It comes with a free car and it's a stupid... Why didn't you give me a McDonald's car or something? Come on. A Grimace car would have been even worth it. Hmm. And how about this? This was like a Happy Meal where you open it up and your food was inside, your little burger and your french fries. It was a little tugboat. A little like something Mark Twain would have wanted to play with right there. You can't even see me. I want to make the picture big enough so y'all can see them and then y'all can see my cute face. But there you go. Riverboat Gambling, McDonald's style. And here... Who the hell's making that? I do like the chicken sandwich to have at Burger King but I don't want to make it. I don't want to come home and play with it. Damn lettuce. Throw that out of here. A sesame seed bun. Oh, McDonald's... Oh, Burger King love their sesame... Remember that song that had about an all-beef patty on a sesame seed bun? Remember that? My sister used to love the scene that back in the 80s. I don't know. Remember that song? I'll put a clip right here. Two all-beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Look at this right here. Spaghetti is like... It looks like something they would do too at the store. They throw the spaghetti out. They throw the sauce over on the side and just slap it on there like something you do at an elementary public school lunchroom. You're like, hey, you're Pizza Hut. You order a pizza and you don't want your spaghetti. So here. Check Burger King. Burger King doll that did a Matty trick with a damn hamburger. Look at that. That's Burger King. I saw one of these at a toy show about two years ago and I thought, that'd be kind of cool to see in the back room. Didn't have the burger. Didn't have the desk or anything. The Matty table, whatever you want to call it. Just a doll, the Burger King. I thought it'd be kind of fun sitting back there. They wanted $400 for the dang thing. $400. Are they crazy? They can get my money. That's a damn sure. And check out that Play-Doh. Play-Doh guy in there. You don't want kids making fake food with Play-Doh. You know they're going to eat it and get diarrhea. I did that one time. Made a fake hamburger and ate it without Play-Doh. I got ice cold diarrhea for two days. You don't want to do that. Notice that mushrooms? You want no mushrooms on their pizza? That's worse than anchovies on your pizza. What the hell is an anchovy? I got an aunt named Choby. We used to call her anchovy. That was hard. I should have thought about that joke. I apologize. That wasn't a... I should have wrote that one out. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. Hey. Damn Pizza Hut tent. McGarmy Ward exclusive. Who had this? Call your buddy up. Hey, you want to come over and spend the night? We're going to camp out in the backyard in my Pizza Hut tent. Hey, jump in. You're not popping, though. Thank you, sir, for that unsolicited testimony.