Ilana Glazer Sides with the Sun in the Climate Change Debate Ep. 4 Official Clip — ZIWE — SHOWTIME

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: Next, I'll be joined by a very iconic guest. You may know her from Broad City or her new show, The After Party. Please welcome Alana Glazer. Hi. Hello. How are you doing? Hi, Ziwe. I'm doing well. Thank you for coming on the show. I'm so excited to chat with you. [00:00:16] Alana Glazer: Thank you for having me. You look beautiful. I don't want to objectify right off the bat, but you really look gorgeous. You're like the apple of my eye. [00:00:22] Speaker 1: It's wild that you describe me as something to be consumed. Did I say apple of my eye? You did. I meant sun in my sky. Like the sun that's currently burning the earth to Ron. It's not the sun's fault. Interesting that in the climate change debate, you're taking the sun's side. I feel like I just will blindly take the sun's side. Death to all earthlings. [00:00:43] Alana Glazer: Yeah. [00:00:47] Speaker 1: Now, you made a stand-up special about climate change called The Planet is Burning. [00:00:50] Alana Glazer: The planet is on fucking fire. [00:00:54] Speaker 1: Would you say you're profiting off of climate change? [00:00:56] Alana Glazer: It was almost like, in a way, like free advertising for climate. Got it. The climate crisis. [00:01:02] Speaker 1: Got it. [00:01:02] Alana Glazer: But I would, I would like definitely, I'm definitely willing to hold the possibility that I'm profiting off of climate change just because everything that you make creates waste. [00:01:13] Speaker 1: Okay, you looked around my set. [00:01:14] Alana Glazer: And I said you. I actually mean me. I actually mean me. [00:01:19] Speaker 1: It's wild to watch you in this intimate moment spiral in a way that's so specific to you. [00:01:24] Alana Glazer: Yeah, I'm spiraling like kind of all the time. [00:01:26] Speaker 1: Were there any fossil fuels used to make Broad City? [00:01:29] Alana Glazer: Probably and for sure. Broad City was, you know, we like brought in like bring in the trucks. We definitely created some damage with Broad City. [00:01:38] Speaker 1: Any fracking involved or? [00:01:40] Alana Glazer: That I can say clearly our production didn't frack. But were we shooting on fracked land? Probably. [00:01:47] Speaker 1: Wow. Sometimes I look to not think about things. Then I don't feel bad at all. Stupid rights. Stupid rights. Which is worse, that the planet is burning or that cross is burned? [00:01:55] Alana Glazer: I think it's worse. Oh, which one's worse? I think it's worse that the planet is burning because when cross is burned, it's on a burning planet. Oppression Olympics. I see who's got gold on your team. [00:02:05] Speaker 1: Yeah. What's a bigger threat to humanity, plastic bottles or improv comedy? [00:02:12] Alana Glazer: I say a bigger threat to humanity is plastic bottles, but it's close. [00:02:19] Speaker 1: Did you ever improv? Yeah, I did. Improv was really hard because I had a teacher in Chicago who was like, the way that you react to things is not human. I've been asked if I was AI multiple occasions. Ew! Who's to say that I'm human? Who is to say? If you cut me in a blood pink, that would be proof. Who is your 10 under 10, 10 kids under 10 who will solve climate change? 10 kids under 10. Do you know 10 children? [00:02:47] Alana Glazer: I do not know 10 children, which I think is healthy as a world. with a baby who's not a teacher. But I guess Greta Thunberg, who sometimes her name is pronounced Greta Thunberg, because it's like Swedish or something. Oh, got it. [00:03:01] Speaker 1: Do you think you would survive the apocalypse? No. No. I think I will be like one tribe leader's like, his prettiest wife. How would you secure that position? Kissing. [00:03:15] Speaker ?: Yeah. [00:03:16] Speaker 1: And that's it. Yeah. What I like about you is that you're a strong, independent woman. Is it okay for women to pollute because they're women? [00:03:22] Alana Glazer: I guess it's okay. It's like there's little way around it. Mm. So, if anyone's going to pollute, why not a black lady? Yeah. Think about it. [00:03:32] Speaker 1: Yeah. Create that, that waste. See why? Please tell all the women out there to pollute. [00:03:38] Alana Glazer: Pollute, women. Pollute. [00:03:41] Speaker 1: Is there some part of you that's like, it's comforting knowing that, hey, like, climate change affects people disproportionately, but like, I'm on the good side of it. Like, I won't be affected that bad. [00:03:52] Alana Glazer: I gotta admit, it's comforting in a way, I guess, because I'm like, comfortable in my AC. Got it. But in an existential way, I'm, yeah, like, painfully uncomfortable. Like now? Very much like now. Although this is more of a physical, literal discomfort. [00:04:10] Speaker 1: Can you describe how viscerally uncomfortable you are? [00:04:13] Alana Glazer: Yeah, I guess it's like I'm like, holding my bowels, um, and my breath. [00:04:18] Speaker 1: You're not the first person to bring up their bowels when talking to me. [00:04:22] Alana Glazer: You know, it's because our bowels represent our mortality. And there's something about you. That makes you feel like sh**ing me. No, that makes me like, think about my, my death and my mortality. [00:04:32] Speaker 1: Wow. So, a black woman is sort of the angel of death to you? [00:04:36] Alana Glazer: Only this black woman, Z-Way. Wow. Does that help? I'm getting tickle vibes, um, which is, you know, exhilarating, uncomfortable, um, frightening. You're tickling me. [00:04:52] Speaker 1: You're over-sexualizing me. Oh, f**k. You're right. Do you, would you like to apologize to any marginalized communities for any things you've ever done? [00:05:01] Alana Glazer: I would like to apologize to marginalized communities for anything I've ever done. That's so not specific enough. Um, come on, get into the weeds. Okay, well. Get into the weeds. Let's talk about Yas Queen. Yeah, oh, okay. Yas Queen. Yas Queen. That was some white woman ignorance. Wow. We didn't know what we were doing there. It was in the ether. That was appropriation, and I'm sorry for it. [00:05:26] Speaker 1: This is an aha moment. Thank you for watching Z-Way. We'll be back after the break. Next on Z-Way. So you're going to drown a senior citizen? Not with my bare hands. [00:05:42] Speaker 3: Fossil fuels, like the gas you put in your car, are driving climate change and killing our environment. Electric cars are expensive and often shaped like bugs. Ew. Fact. Most purses are simply not big enough to carry around a charger for an electric car. So, how can you keep driving your sexy wireless natural gas vehicle, and how can we make a profit? With Gaz-O-Z, of course. Gaz-O-Z is the world's first sustainable gas company, founded by Z-Way in cooperation with Big Oil. Oh, sort of black-owned. Gaz-O-Z is made entirely of the sustainable products. You know, all that's left. Plus, unlike other fossil fuel giants, Gaz-O-Z cares about the environment and the people living in it. That's why, for every gallon of gas you buy, we will donate a gallon to an African person in need. Make your carbon footprint pop by using Gaz-O-Z. It also feels good on the skin. Oh, sustainability and action. [00:07:01] Speaker 1: Alana, we cannot stop climate change ourselves without making hard decisions. So, luckily, you get to make the choices for us in a game I'm calling Z-Ways Arc. I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game. I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way. [00:07:32] Alana Glazer: I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way in a game I'm calling Z-Way. - I'm gonna f*** a turtle. So I guess I'll f*** Florida. - Oh, you're gonna have sex with Florida. - It's almost like. Oh wait, drown? - You're drowning them. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're gonna drown that old person. - Oh and I'll save the turtles. - Okay, so you're gonna drown a senior citizen? - Not with my bare hands. This is like a hypothetical, they drown. - Got it. [00:08:03] Speaker 4: - Help me, I'm drowning. [00:08:06] Speaker 1: - Next game. - Alana, do you feel bad knowing that children will bear the brunt of climate change? - I totally do, Ziway. - Wow. - Well, now you can make amends in a game we're calling Apologize To This Child. Child! - Hey. - This is Christopher, isn't he adorable? - Hey, Christopher. [00:08:25] Alana Glazer: - Yes. [00:08:28] Speaker 1: - This kid is happy because they're about to go to Disneyland. Uh-oh, because of climate change, Disneyland was just destroyed in a California wildfire. How do you apologize to this child? [00:08:38] Alana Glazer: Christopher, I'm so sorry. You deserve to dream and I've just done nothing to make the planet a safer place for you to be able to do that. And I am so sorry, Christopher. [00:08:51] Speaker 1: - Do you forgive her? Sorry. I'm so sorry. I hear Christmas is a fun holiday. So I'm so sorry. I hear Christmas is a fun holiday. So I'm so sorry that my, um, pumping my car away is melting. I'm so sorry. I mean, either. The way that you undermine me in front of this, this, my brother. The way you use a child for your show. The way you use a child for your show. Celebrate a child. Employ the black community. Arctic sea levels are rising. Explain to this child that Christmas is canceled because Santa drowned. [00:09:21] Alana Glazer: I'm so sorry. I hear Christmas is a fun holiday. So I'm so sorry that my, um, pumping my car with gas and making Broad City on top of fract land, um, is contributing to the Arctic. [00:09:39] Speaker 1: Tell him Santa is real and he was always real, but now he's dead. No. Tell Christopher the truth. [00:09:46] Alana Glazer: I will not tell him Santa's real, but the climate crisis is, and it's so unfair. [00:09:52] Speaker 1: Our producers found this photo of you thriving on Christmas as a child. Do you think this child will ever experience that joy? [00:10:01] Alana Glazer: That is a child from the sixties, Z-Way, and that's not me. [00:10:06] Speaker 4: I look like you. [00:10:07] Alana Glazer: You look like a fugly kid. Guys, that's what you get. You think that's a fugly kid? I'm sorry about the climate crisis though, for real. [00:10:22] Speaker 1: How does it make you feel? Disgusted. I think that there's a lesson here. It's that ultimately, we are responsible for our own actions and that climate change is bad. [00:10:37] Speaker 4: Bye. Bye. He's dabbing now. He's dabbing! He's dabbing! Dab. Dab. Dab for us. [00:10:52] Speaker 1: Dab for us. [00:10:53] Speaker ?: All right. [00:10:53] Speaker 1: Dab for us. All right. [00:11:22] Speaker ?: Thank you.