About this transcript: This is a full AI-generated transcript of "I Would Be A Good Emissary For The Planet" - President Obama Is Ready For Contact With Alien Life from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, published May 7, 2026. The transcript contains 1,193 words with timestamps and was generated using Whisper AI.
"FOLKS, OF ALL THE INTERVIEWS THAT PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA HAS GIVEN, CRITICS ARE CALLING MINE THE MOST RECENT. YVONNE? THE SENATE IS NONPARTISAN, BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE STILL A MEMBER OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. THERE'S A DEBATE ON WHAT THE DIRECTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY SHOULD BE. IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S..."
[0:05] FOLKS, OF ALL THE INTERVIEWS THAT PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA HAS
[0:10] GIVEN, CRITICS ARE CALLING MINE THE MOST RECENT.
[0:14] YVONNE?
[0:16] THE SENATE IS NONPARTISAN, BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE STILL A MEMBER
[0:18] OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
[0:19] THERE'S A DEBATE ON WHAT THE DIRECTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC
[0:22] PARTY SHOULD BE.
[0:23] IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE A FAIRLY GOOD MIDTERM ELECTION
[0:27] FOR THE DEMOCRATS, CHANCE TO TAKE THE HOUSE, IF NOT THE SENATE.
[0:32] BUT THERE'S A BIG DEBATE ON WHAT THE LEADERSHIP WOULD BE LIKE
[0:34] GOING FORWARD.
[0:35] BASICALLY, IT'S LIBERALS VERSUS THE LEFT TO BE VERY REDUCTIVE
[0:38] ABOUT IT.
[0:40] AS MY CHILDREN SAY TO ME, DAD, YOU'RE A LIBERAL, WE'RE LEFTISTS.
[0:44] BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE, LIBERALS ARE PEOPLE WHO THINK THINGS
[0:48] SHOULD BASICALLY STAY THE SAME, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
[0:51] AND THE NEXT GENERATION REALLY WANTS THINGS TO CHANGE.
[0:53] SO YOU HAVE GREAT LEADERS.
[0:56] YOU HAVE PEOPLE LIKE ABIGAIL SPANBERGER AND MIKEY SHERRILL,
[0:59] VERY CENTRIST.
[1:00] BUT THEN YOU HAVE FURTHER LEFT, LIKE AOC OR ZORAN MAMDANI.
[1:04] WHAT DIRECTION DO YOU THINK WOULD BE BEST FOR THIS PARTY TO
[1:08] ACTUALLY ACHIEVE CHANGE?
[1:11] WELL, TWO THINGS I WANT TO SAY.
[1:13] FIRST, YOU'RE RIGHT.
[1:15] THE PRESIDENTIAL CENTER IS NONPARTISAN.
[1:17] AND THE REASON I WANT TO MENTION THAT IS BECAUSE I'M WORRIED
[1:21] ABOUT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, NOT JUST THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
[1:26] WHEN I WAS PRESIDENT, PEOPLE WOULD ASK ME,
[1:28] WHAT CHANGE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN WASHINGTON?
[1:30] I'D SAY I'D LOVE A LOYAL OPPOSITION.
[1:35] I'D LOVE A REPUBLICAN PARTY THAT WAS CONSERVATIVE IN SOME WAYS,
[1:40] THAT, YOU KNOW, DIDN'T AGREE WITH ME ON A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF,
[1:44] BUT BELIEVED IN RULE OF LAW AND JUDICIAL INDEPENDENCE
[1:50] AND EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE AND SCIENCE AND WASN'T CONSTANTLY
[1:57] TAPPING INTO OUR WORST IMPULSES.
[2:00] AND THERE HAS BEEN A REPUBLICAN PARTY LIKE THAT IN THE PAST,
[2:04] AND I WANT TO SEE THAT RETURNED,
[2:05] BECAUSE I THINK YOU HAVE TO HAVE TWO HEALTHY PARTIES.
[2:08] NOW, WITH RESPECT TO DEMOCRATS, I'M NOT AS WORRIED ABOUT THIS
[2:14] SO-CALLED RIFT BETWEEN THE LEFT AND LIBERALS AS YOU DESCRIBE IT,
[2:19] BECAUSE I THINK THAT WITHIN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY,
[2:23] AND I WOULD ARGUE A BUNCH OF INDEPENDENTS
[2:25] AND EVEN SOME REPUBLICANS AS WELL,
[2:27] THERE'S AN OVERARCHING BELIEF IN EQUALITY, FAIRNESS.
[2:36] IF YOU WORK, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE A LIVING WAGE
[2:38] AND SUPPORT A FAMILY AND RETIRE WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.
[2:41] AND, YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW COMPANIES
[2:47] TO JUST RUN ROUGHSHOT OVER THE RIGHTS OF WORKERS.
[2:49] THERE ARE A BUNCH OF THINGS THAT WE AGREE ON.
[2:52] AND IT'S REALLY MORE OF A QUESTION OF, ALL RIGHT,
[2:55] WHAT ARE THE SPECIFIC THINGS THAT WE HAVE TO DO?
[2:58] YOU LOOK AT SOMEBODY LIKE MONDAMI,
[3:00] WHO I THINK IS AN EXTRAORDINARY TALENT.
[3:03] HE WANTS PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD HOUSING IN NEW YORK.
[3:07] WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULD ASSUME LIBERALS IN NEW YORK
[3:13] WANT THE SAME THING.
[3:14] AND SO I DON'T WORRY AS MUCH ABOUT SOME OF THESE ISSUES
[3:22] WITHIN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
[3:25] WHAT I'M MORE INTERESTED IN FOR DEMOCRATS IS,
[3:28] DO YOU KNOW HOW TO JUST TALK TO REGULAR PEOPLE
[3:30] LIKE WE'RE NOT IN A COLLEGE SEMINAR, RIGHT?
[3:34] YOU KNOW, CAN YOU TALK PLAIN ENGLISH TO FOLKS ABOUT...
[3:38] I THINK THAT'S ONE OF THE POWERS THAT MOMDANI HAS.
[3:41] THAT'S CORRECT.
[3:41] IS THAT HE ALSO, NOT ONLY DOES HE TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON,
[3:44] BUT HE LIVES A NORMAL LIFE, BUT HE ALSO,
[3:46] HE NAMES WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY WRONG.
[3:48] YES.
[3:49] AND HE GOES, WE SHOULD CHANGE THAT THING.
[3:51] THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
[3:52] AND NOT HAVE A BUNCH OF GOBBLEDY-GOOK AROUND IT.
[3:57] AND SO WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR...
[3:59] IS THERE A STRICT NO GOBBLEDY-GOOK?
[4:01] NO GOBBLEDY-GOOK.
[4:02] HERE AT...
[4:02] YOU SHOULD CARVE THAT INTO THE WALL SOMEWHERE
[4:05] OF THE OBAMA CENTER.
[4:06] YOU KNOW WHAT?
[4:06] NO GOBBLEDY-GOOK.
[4:08] JUST TALK.
[4:08] THE BUILDING'S NOT COMPLETED?
[4:10] I THINK I'M GOING TO PUT THAT SOMEWHERE.
[4:12] I'M GOING TO CARVE IT INTO SOME OF THE GRANITE OUT HERE.
[4:15] SURE, SURE.
[4:16] NO GOBBLEDY-GOOK.
[4:17] JUST TALK LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE TALK.
[4:19] YOU KNOW WHAT?
[4:20] LIKE, THE RENT'S TOO HIGH.
[4:23] WE NEED TO MAKE THE RENT LOWER FOR PEOPLE.
[4:27] ALL RIGHT.
[4:28] EARLIER THIS YEAR, YOU SAID OF ALIENS...
[4:32] YES.
[4:33] QUOTE, THEY'RE REAL, BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM.
[4:35] THEN YOU TRIED TO WALK IT BACK THE NEXT DAY.
[4:38] YOU KNOW NO ONE BELIEVED YOU, RIGHT?
[4:41] BECAUSE THAT FIRST ONE HAD THE RING OF TRUTH.
[4:42] IT WAS JUST A GUY JUST LET IT...
[4:45] AND FINALLY LET IT OUT.
[4:46] AND THEN THE NEXT DAY, YOU'RE LIKE,
[4:47] WELL, WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT I'M SURE THAT SOMEWHERE OUT THERE,
[4:50] GIVEN THE INFINITE, YOU KNOW, NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE AND THE BILL...
[4:53] NO ONE BUYS THAT.
[4:55] JUST COME CLEAN, MAN.
[4:56] YOU DON'T WANT TO TARNISH A REPUTATION FOR JUST, LIKE,
[4:59] FRANKNESS AND HONESTY.
[5:00] AT THIS POINT OF YOUR CAREER, SIR, AT LONG LAST, WON'T YOU JUST...
[5:04] I THOUGHT IT WAS SO OBVIOUS WHAT I MEANT.
[5:06] UH-HUH.
[5:07] YES.
[5:07] IT WAS OBVIOUS WHAT YOU MEANT, BUT WE ALL GOT THE MESSAGE.
[5:11] HERE'S THE THING.
[5:12] UH-HUH.
[5:13] FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STILL THINK THAT, YOU KNOW,
[5:16] WE'VE GOT LITTLE GREEN MEN UNDERGROUND SOMEWHERE.
[5:19] YEAH?
[5:20] ONE OF THE THINGS YOU LEARN AS PRESIDENT...
[5:22] YES.
[5:23] IS...
[5:25] GOVERNMENT IS TERRIBLE AT KEEPING SECRETS.
[5:28] THIS IDEA OF CONSPIRACY THEORIES, IF...
[5:30] IF THERE WERE ALIENS OR ALIEN SPACESHIPS OR ANYTHING UNDER THE
[5:35] CONTROL OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT THAT WE KNEW ABOUT,
[5:38] SEEN, PHOTOGRAPHS, WHAT HAVE YOU, I PROMISE YOU, SOME GUY
[5:44] GUARDING THE INSTALLATION WOULD HAVE TAKEN A SELFIE WITH ONE OF THE
[5:49] ALIENS AND SEND IT TO HIS GIRLFRIEND TO IMPRESS HIM.
[5:52] IT...
[5:53] IT WOULD LEAVE.
[5:53] OR THERE WOULD BE, LIKE, HINTS.
[5:54] THERE WOULD BE, LIKE, CERTAIN HINTS OUT THERE,
[5:55] LIKE, A PRESIDENTIAL CENTER WOULD LOOK LIKE A SCOUT SHIP
[5:59] THAT'S JUST COME DOWN FROM LOW ORBIT AND LANDED IN CHICAGO.
[6:01] THAT WOULD HAPPEN, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
[6:03] IT... IT COULD HAPPEN.
[6:04] AND, UH...
[6:06] DO YOU WISH THEY WERE REAL?
[6:08] I ACTUALLY DO.
[6:09] UH, I...
[6:10] ALL RIGHT.
[6:11] I'M... I'M PUTTING IN A PLUG NOW.
[6:13] OKAY.
[6:15] FIRST CONTACT.
[6:17] I THINK I WOULD BE A GOOD EMISSARY FOR, UH...
[6:21] FOR THE PLANET.
[6:22] YOU REPRESENT ME.
[6:23] YEAH, I MEAN, I...
[6:24] YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A DERVERSE BACKGROUND,
[6:27] SOME EXPERIENCE IN STATECRAFT AND DIPLOMACY.
[6:31] UM, I'M FRIENDLY, YOU KNOW.
[6:33] YEAH.
[6:34] SO, I ACTUALLY THINK, UH, YOU KNOW, I, UH...
[6:38] I COULD DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB.
[6:40] ALL RIGHT, SO...
[6:40] THAT'S A GOOD PITCH.
[6:41] YEAH.
[6:42] WE WILL KEEP THAT IN MIND.
[6:43] THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[6:44] THANK YOU.
[6:45] BUT IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.
[6:47] OKAY, GREAT.
[6:47] ALL RIGHT.
[6:48] AND WE HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER HERE ON THE RESUME.
[6:49] THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[6:50] VERY IMPRESSIVE.
[6:51] GOOD.
[6:52] WELL, BARACK...
[6:57] THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME TODAY,
[6:59] THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WONDERFUL DURING.
[7:00] AND CONGRATUATIONS TO THIS EXTRAORDINARY CENTER.
[7:02] WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU ASKED WHAT I HOPE FOR 50 YEARS FROM NOW.
[7:06] WHAT I HOPE IS IS THAT A WHOLE BUNCH OF YOUNG PEOPLE COME THROUGH HERE
[7:10] UH, DURING THOSE 50 YEARS, AND THEY'RE INSPIRED TO REALIZE THE CHANGES THEY CAN MAKE
[7:16] IN THE WORLD AND MAKE IT BETTER.
[7:17] IF, IF WE ACCOMPLISH THAT, THEN I'LL FEEL PRETTY GOOD.
[7:20] THANK YOU, SIR.
[7:21] THANK YOU.
[7:23] WHEN WE RETURN, PRESIDENT OBAMA GIVES ME A PERSONAL TOUR OF THE CENTER.
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