How Obama roasted Trump in White House Correspondents' Dinner speeches before his election

[0:00] And then there's a vicious rumor floating around that I think could really hurt Mitt Romney. [0:07] I heard he passed universal health care when he was governor of Massachusetts. [0:14] Someone should get to the bottom of that. [0:17] And I know just the guy to do it. [0:19] Donald Trump is here tonight. [0:28] Now, I know that he's taken some flack lately. [0:32] But no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. [0:39] And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. [0:47] Like, did we fake the moon landing? [0:53] What really happened in Roswell? [0:55] And where are Biggie and Tupac? [1:11] All kidding aside, obviously we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. [1:17] For example, no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice at the steakhouse, [1:28] the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. [1:34] And there was a lot of blame to go around. [1:38] But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. [1:44] And so ultimately you didn't blame Little John or Meat Loaf. [1:48] You fired Gary Busey. [1:51] And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. [2:11] Well handled, sir. [2:13] Well handled. [2:20] Say what you will about Mr. Trump. [2:22] He certainly would bring some change to the White House. [2:26] Let's see what we've got up there. [2:42] Ted Cruz said that denying the existence of climate change made him like Galileo. [2:48] Now that's not really an apt comparison. [2:56] Galileo believed the earth revolves around the sun. [3:01] Ted Cruz believes the earth revolves around Ted Cruz. [3:07] And just as an aside, I want to point out, [3:09] when a guy who has his face on a hope poster calls you self-centered, [3:14] you know you've got a problem. [3:15] The narcissism index is creeping up a little too high. [3:25] Meanwhile, Rick Santorum announced that he would not attend [3:28] the same-sex wedding of a friend or a loved one. [3:32] To which gays and lesbians across the country responded, [3:35] that's not going to be a problem. [3:37] Don't sweat that one. [3:47] And Donald Trump is here. [4:03] It's amazing how time flies. [4:06] Soon the first presidential contest will take place. [4:09] And I, for one, cannot wait to see who the Koch brothers pick. [4:13] It's exciting. [4:17] Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker. [4:23] Who will finally get that red rose? [4:32] The winner gets a billion-dollar war chest. [4:35] The runner-up gets to be the bachelor on the next season of The Bachelor. [4:40] I mean, seriously, a billion dollars from just two guys. [4:49] Is it just me or does that feel a little excessive? [4:53] It's almost insulting to the candidates. [4:57] The Koch brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars [5:00] to get folks to like one of these people. [5:04] It's got to hurt their feelings a little bit. [5:06] And look, I know I've raised a lot of money, too, [5:09] but in all fairness, my middle name is Hussein. [5:13] What's their excuse?