Conan Reacts To His "Toy Story 5" Smarty Pants Toy — Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: - In celebration of your upcoming appearance in the new Toy Story movie. - Toy Story 5. - Yeah, the new one. - Yeah. - Yeah. [00:00:06] Speaker 2: - Okay. [00:00:09] Speaker 1: - We have something special to show you. [00:00:10] Speaker 3: - Oh my God, it's out! [00:00:12] Speaker 2: - Oh, how cool! - Look at that! [00:00:15] Speaker 3: - Silly sound maker. - This is my character. His name is Smarty Pants. - It's a toy for the listener. - It's a toy for, it's a toy for, well, basically my character in Toy Story 5, I think I'm allowed to talk about it. I have no idea. - The movie's out. - It's a potty training device. And so I think this must be my voice, right? - Yeah. [00:00:41] Speaker 2: - Put it up to the mic. [00:00:42] Speaker 3: - Hello there, pick your number. - I mean, that could be me. - Yeah, I think it's you. - No, it's, I mean, I recorded these. [00:00:51] Speaker 1: - You recorded specifically for the toy or did they take the sound bits from the movie? [00:00:54] Speaker 3: - No, they had me do it for the toy. - Do it here. - And you know what I was like? I was like, you know what, I'm never, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. [00:01:02] Speaker 2: This is in the bathroom. [00:01:04] Speaker 3: - That's you. - That is you. - So, what's that? - You did it here in this studio. - Yeah, I did it. - Yes. - Hey, now he's interrupting. - It must be you, it won't shut up. [00:01:14] Speaker 2: - Okay. - Oh no. [00:01:18] Speaker 3: - You know what I did? - You know what I did? I decided, they're like- [00:01:20] Speaker ?: - Geez, someone did it. [00:01:21] Speaker 3: - You know what's so weird? I'm being interrupted by myself. - Finally, there's karma. Oh my God. - I can't get him to shut up. - It's motion activated. - Dude, are you done? Oh, he's motion activated. That's what the problem is. Yeah, it is. It is motion activated. - Oh, it does say it right around the box. - Can you turn it upside down? - I'm just going to put it on the floor for a second. [00:01:41] Speaker 1: - And then can you yourself go on the floor too? [00:01:45] Speaker 3: - Yes. - And can I be boxed and put into storage by a collector? Yeah, they said, oh, do you want to, you know, I guess they can use a different voice, but they said, do you want to do your voice for the toy? And I remember thinking, I'm never going to be a toy again. And yeah, I want to be the voice of the toy. [00:02:03] Speaker 1: - You get a little extra, they negotiated. - I do not think so. - No? [00:02:07] Speaker 3: - No. - Well. - This is, this is the opposite of a cash grab. - This is Disney Pixar. - Yeah, this is not that. This is, I mean, and I don't, I don't care 'cause it's, to be part of the, the toy story saga, it was just a delight. And to be in the same company of these amazingly creative people and these huge stars. So I was just super happy to do it. But yeah, so now it's a, it's a toy. [00:02:32] Speaker 1: - I wonder when my youngest daughter gets potty trained if we'll use that. - Yeah. [00:02:36] Speaker 3: - I think your wife will nix that. [00:02:40] Speaker 1: - But what if you find out people are using it and children all over the world are getting constipated? [00:02:47] Speaker 3: - There's an epidemic of constipation among children. We think we found the, yeah, kids just seize up when they hear my voice. [00:02:55] Speaker 2: - I love that the time you're in a Pixar movie, it's when you're a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:01] Speaker 3: - Well, that's how the toy looks, but I'm not a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:04] Speaker 2: - I know, but that's, that's what it's modeled after. - Yeah, a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:08] Speaker 3: - It's a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:09] Speaker 2: - Yeah, you look like a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:10] Speaker 3: - No, you're looking at it the wrong way. - It's literally a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:13] Speaker 2: - It actually is like just a roll of toilet paper. [00:03:15] Speaker 3: - No, no. [00:03:16] Speaker 2: - Oh my God, your eyes light up. Okay. [00:03:19] Speaker 3: - I talked over my toy, which is so you. My toy was trying to talk and you in typical Sona fashion. - They should make a Sona toy. [00:03:26] Speaker ?: - I love it, pick it over. [00:03:28] Speaker 2: - Okay, I'm glad I didn't talk over that. [00:03:33] Speaker 3: - Let me see this thing. - Oh, look now, I like it when you put it face down and he's just talking into the, into the table. [00:03:39] Speaker 2: - Alone again. [00:03:41] Speaker 1: Wow. [00:03:43] Speaker 2: - Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. This is the bathroom. [00:03:47] Speaker 3: That's a smarty pants when he's low on battery and he sounds drunk. Oh, that's my method as an actor. [00:03:54] Speaker 2: - Oh, that's good. [00:03:55] Speaker 3: - So much I'm looking forward to this summer. - Me too. - You know what I'm talking about? First of all, July 4th is going to be the 250th anniversary of the United States of America. - We did it. - That's a big deal. And just as important, some pretty big soccer games headed our way. - Sports. - I don't want to get too specific, [00:04:12] Speaker 2: but let's say some pretty big soccer games are coming our way. - On a global scale. [00:04:16] Speaker 3: - On a global scale. That's all we'll say. So much to celebrate this summer. So you got to keep a classic with Miller Lite. Miller Lite has been a true American Pilsner and the original Lite beer since 1975. Were you even alive then? [00:04:28] Speaker 2: - No, I was not. [00:04:29] Speaker 3: - Yeah. I think that's good because you couldn't handle the beginning of the Miller Lite era. - No. - It's too iconic. Here's my summer, okay? Hang with my buddies. - Yeah. - Hey, this is a really good iconic soccer game that's happening that unifies all the different nations of the world. - Mm-hmm. - Um, what is it? I don't have time to tell you. Uh, but let's have some Miller Lite. Clean finish, refreshing, easy to drink. And when it's hot outside, nothing feels better going down than an icy, cool Miller Lite. It's an all American summer and it starts with all American beer, Miller Lite. Go to millerlite.com/conon to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Miller Time, celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Wilwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. I have to be honest, as we record this, I've not seen the movie yet. So I don't know what's gonna happen. Um, this could be the end of me. Really? [00:05:24] Speaker 2: - What? Are you joking? [00:05:26] Speaker 3: - You just never know. [00:05:27] Speaker 2: - No, you're a joke. It's, it's gonna be great. [00:05:29] Speaker 3: - I do not wanna be the guy that fucks up Toy Story 5. - Oh, you're stupid, don't say that. - Maybe you'll get a spin on it. - What if I leave the podcast to go double down on my smarty pants? What if I start touring and I'm in a smarty pants costume? - You go to conventions? - I go to conventions and I have, you know, I'm one of those, I just do this a lot and take pictures with people. [00:05:48] Speaker 2: - Yeah. [00:05:49] Speaker 3: - I think that's a good idea. - That'll work. - Anyway, so that's it. I am the voice of a toilet training toy. - This is exciting. - Are you excited? Now, this is a big deal for you, animation and Disney and all that, right? [00:06:01] Speaker 1: - Well, I'm not like one way or the other on Disney cartoons, but Toy Story and Pixar, they're pretty amazing. And plus now that I have a daughter that I go to the movies with, this is gonna be amazing. [00:06:13] Speaker 3: - Will you take her to see Toy Story 5? [00:06:14] Speaker 1: - Absolutely, we go see a lot. We, we love going to movies. So, I mean, this would be, sometimes we're stretching to find a decent movie. [00:06:21] Speaker 3: The only thing I've seen, I go to the premiere tomorrow and I will see the movie for the first time. I have no, and, and there are whole chunks of the movie, I don't know, 'cause they only give you your part. - Uh-huh. - But, um, one of the things that they did let me see was the opening of the movie, uh, and it's just stunning. - Are you in that or do you have a- - I'm not in it. [00:06:43] Speaker 1: - Do you have a grand entrance of anything? [00:06:45] Speaker 3: - No, I mean, I don't know. I have not seen anything to do with my part. I'm totally in the dark. - So, uh, but they show the opening of the movie, which is quite cinematic and amazing. And I just, uh, they are, because David Hoppe and I got to go to Pixar. - Yeah. - To record my parts. And, uh, they're formidable, these people. They're just really amazing. [00:07:06] Speaker 1: - Are you gonna take the boys? [00:07:08] Speaker 2: - I am. Yeah, yeah. [00:07:09] Speaker 1: - And when he comes on screen, are you gonna whisper to them, "I have complicated feelings about that kid." [00:07:15] Speaker 2: - I think, no, they know that Uncle Conan's in the next Toy Story movie. [00:07:20] Speaker 3: - They don't know which part I am. [00:07:21] Speaker 2: - They have no idea which part you're in. [00:07:23] Speaker 3: - Just tell them I'm Woody. [00:07:24] Speaker 2: - Oh my God! That's blasphemy. Absolutely not. No way. Do you get to go to Disneyland for free? That's one of the perks of being like a Disney employee. Do you have a badge? [00:07:35] Speaker 3: - No. [00:07:36] Speaker 2: - Oh, okay. Are you, so you're not like, you were just like temporarily there, if you wanted to go to Disneyland for free or get tickets for somebody [00:07:44] Speaker 3: who wants to go to Disneyland for free? - I think they got what they needed from me. - Okay. - And I will be, and even if I try to purchase a legitimate ticket to Disneyland, they will probably tell me I can't have it. [00:07:56] Speaker 1: - You know, we floated the idea of the three of us going to Disneyland and recording there. I think we should do that. [00:08:02] Speaker 2: - I do that, sure. - I do that. - Yeah. - I love Disneyland. [00:08:06] Speaker 3: - I took a date to Disneyland once, years ago. - How old were you? - I was when I was first living out here. - So it would've been like 1986, I would've been 23. - How was the date? - It was a good date. - That's a great date. - It was a good date. - You can do worse, yeah. - Yeah, that's a great date. - It takes a lot of the awkwardness out of it 'cause there's so much to do. - Why would there be awkwardness with me? What are you talking about? [00:08:28] Speaker 2: - Did you make her go to like the Hall of Presidents? [00:08:32] Speaker 3: - It gets worse. - I took her to the Hall of Presidents and then we stayed 'cause I wanted to see each president talk multiple times. And then she got upset when I said, I told her, she started to say something, I said, "Quiet, it's Martin Van Buren coming up." He was the sage, I said, "He was the sage of Kinderhook." And she went, "What?" And I said, "Old Kinderhook, upstate New York. Martin Van Buren, his lineage was, they were Dutch." And then I snapped at her and I never saw her again. She left in tears. And then Martin Van Buren looked at me and went, "You are a dick, sir." [00:09:11] Speaker 2: - You know so much about Martin Van Buren. [00:09:14] Speaker 3: - He said, "You know more about me than I do." And then Martin Van Buren said, "She looked hot." And then Lincoln said, "Sure did." "You fucked up, son." - You cock-blocked yourself, young man. You cock-blocked yourself, and that's hard to do. And then all the presidents just spent like 40 minutes telling me, what an absolute- [00:09:40] Speaker 1: - They had a roast? - They just went after me. - I would watch the Hall of Presidents roast. [00:09:44] Speaker 3: - Yeah, and then there was a Kevin Hart robot came out and he said, "I'm not a president, but I want in on this." And then he went after me. And so it was all the presidents and Kevin Hart roasting me for making my girlfriend go see the Hall of Presidents. Anyway, she fled, never to return again. - That's great. - Anyway, "Toy Story 5," do it, man.