Martin’s Story - Vintage Toys Saved Me From A Nervous Breakdown #mentalhealth DOCUMENTARY

[00:00:00] Speaker 1: hi guys well I've got delivery of my Hasbro wrestling ring which I've been waiting for and so I've just been rearranging my collection in my room so I'm gonna come around and show you what so there's the original Hasbro ring and all the stickers on it's got a flag so I've moved stuff around which to be fair it's giving me more room to get some more stuff so it's a bit odd to do but I've got that in the end I've moved some of these up here I've got to move stuff around in my place because literally having not a lot of room so I've moved these down to here that's the NWO yeah so it has been a fun morning [00:01:21] Speaker 2: yeah yeah we'll be walking across it We'll be right back. [00:02:08] Speaker ?: We'll be right back. [00:02:38] Speaker 3: We'll be right back. [00:03:08] Speaker ?: We'll be right back. We'll be right back. [00:03:50] Speaker 1: Hi guys, so it's just me again. I thought I'd come on and just talk more about mental health and what it's like to be in crisis. And, you know, I'm quite open to open up about some of my stories. There's some bits I can't go into detail for personal reasons, but I always remember the first time I was in crisis. I remember I was going through a bit of a messy breakup at the time and it was hard because, you know, just it was things were really hard. And I just remember, you know, I thought I don't want to be here. So, bottle of rum, half a dozen pills, whack that down. There was a time where I even tried, you know, doing certain things and it didn't succeed. So, I thought, let's try this. And I remember being the first ever time I was really in crisis. I've got vague memory of it, but what I do remember is being in and out of consciousness and being in the ambulance. And then waking up and literally just throwing loads of crap up, which they give you, which they need to give you, to bring all the stuff back up. And then, you know, wake up in the morning, you know, being monitored by someone you know, who, where I work in the trust. I work in the trust and there was someone I know who worked in a different department of people sat by my bed. And the first thing in my head, I felt really embarrassed. I felt ashamed, you know, I felt like I wasted people's time, but, but then they turned around and said to me, like, you know, we, we understand, you know, you know, and I did get the support, you know, that I needed because, you know, I feel like I'm one of these people that I help anybody else. I try and fix everybody else and put my own self, my own, my own mental health, my own well-being to one side. I try and fix everybody else and I feel like I'm one of these people that I'm not going to be able to do. [00:06:32] Speaker ?: I try and fix everybody else. I try and fix everybody else. I try and fix everybody else. [00:08:02] Speaker 1: I try and fix everybody else. I try and fix everybody else. And if you need help, seek help, get help. [00:09:05] Speaker 2: If you'd like to return to Gohar, take your next left on Leavenworth and we'll go down the hill to Bay Street. If you'd like to keep driving and see Point Tower, Worth Beach and Royal, continue straight down Lombard. [00:09:20] Speaker 1: I thought I was taking loads of pictures of it, but I'm just trying to record it now. I'm going to Australia, yeah? [00:10:20] Speaker 2: Continue straight. Turn left at the light. [00:10:41] Speaker ?: Turn left at the light. Turn left at the light. Turn right at the light. Turn right at the light. We're almost back when we started. End of my guided tour. If you want to keep exploring, go ahead and keep driving. [00:11:15] Speaker 2: Thanks for choosing go-kart. We're almost back when we started. End of my guided tour. If you want to keep exploring, go ahead and keep driving. Thanks for choosing go-kart. Well, are we right now, are we? [00:11:36] Speaker 1: No. Whoa, whoa, this is from a country. [00:11:40] Speaker ?: Turn left. [00:11:42] Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [00:12:12] Speaker ?: I'm sorry. [00:12:14] Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's important because you've got people around you that love you and care for you. [00:12:42] Speaker ?: Let's go. [00:13:12] Speaker 3: See that up there? See that? Yeah. That's where they start the zip wire from. I'm sorry. [00:13:40] Speaker ?: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [00:14:30] Speaker 1: I remember a few years ago, or not really but what, when I went back into crisis again the second time, I think it was the second time or the third time, I remember I was in London at the time and things in my life wasn't really going well for me and I was struggling and I was just doing a beer and I remember my mum and dad trying to talk me around, trying to find out where I was. And I remember being on the XL bridge and I was on the other side, so I was on the other side and I just thought to myself, you know what, what's the world coming to, like what is it, I just can't do this now and what, I've given up, I felt I've given up and I remember my dad saying to me and it sounds horrible when I say this but it's true what he says, it's like do you want your boys to grow up without a dad, you know. How selfish are you? And at the time I, you know, I was in crisis, yes, but I was being selfish because, you know, I wasn't thinking about my kids at the time, you know, I was thinking about my own pain and I remember climbing back over the other side of the bridge and, yeah, I remember these coppers coming up to me saying, like, are you Martin? Like, yeah. And for some reason I, I done the old flight and thing and ran away, tried to run away, or tried to run away and then I got taken into a hospital, handcuffed and it was like, really like, it was, I felt really embarrassed. And anyway, I got taken to this one unit in Newham and, which is just down the road from my mum and dad's house and it's, to be honest, it wasn't the nicest place I've been, I mean, I've been to a few other units, I mean, and I went there and I remember, it's just like, it was hard, it was hard because I thought, oh my god, this is my life, I need to do, and, you know, this is how, how things are going to be. I remember my mum and dad, not my mum and dad, sorry, my dad and my brother come up to get me and I think what hit it nail on the head for me, to get, so I get, to actually finally get the help I needed, was seeing their face, shocked, when I'm in a hospital, a mental health hospital, they came up to get me and they wanted me to stay in the hospital for longer than I needed to be and I was like, I don't need to be in the hospital. But, I remember there was something going on the ward and, erm, the alarms were going off, so someone was in, obviously someone needed assistance and I, and for me, I was like, working in the unit, working in places like this, you sort of like, think I'm ready to go and help out, but obviously not realising I'm actually a patient, not a staff member, and then seeing my dad's face and he just, my brother's face, looking, like, worried, and, you know, I just thought, I can't be doing this no more. I need to get help and I did, I got the help and, you know, I'm not saying with mental health, the way to understand mental health for me, is you need to, you know, yes you can go to university and get all these degrees and all that, and that's all will and be, but if you haven't got life skills, you know, and compassion and understanding, you know, it's, for me, you need to, I always believe, you've got to understand mental health, you've got to go through some form of crisis to get you a better understanding, because, I mean, fair enough, all our stories are different, and all our journeys are different, but we can sort of, like, sympathise, and this is what I say to a lot of my patients, when I work in the hospital, I say to them, like, you know, yes, things are hard, things are tough, but remember, you know, with the right help, you know, there is help out there for anybody, anyone can help it, and I will say to them, like, like, we can give you the, we can help anybody, but, like myself, I had to put the work in myself to get better, and I do believe, I might be wrong to say this, but I do believe with mental health, you'll never overcome mental health, ever, it's how you control it, and how each day, each day, take one day at a time, and, for me, it's now getting to days where, now getting into finding something that you enjoy again, and be selfish, and, like I say, for me, getting into toys, and, and meeting all the fantastic people, and, in the, in the toy hunting, or toy hunting, or toy collecting, whatever you want to call it, and, for me, they've welcomed me into this, is this community, and to feel like, you know, and it's just such a lovely feeling. [00:19:17] Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. [00:19:47] Speaker ?: And, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. [00:20:17] Speaker 1: And, you know, I still have days, well, I have days where I do struggle, but then I've got to think of, like, what have you got around you? I've got my two boys, which I'm so, so proud of, you know, and, you know, and how much they've achieved in life, and, this is what I say to people with, like, who are struggling in life, think of the people that love you, that need you, that want you to be around to share memories, and, you know, events, and stuff like that. These are the people that really care about you, the people who say they're your friends, but they're not your friends, you know, that's what I found when I was struggling, I was quite lucky because I had a lot of support. I remember, I remember going to a unit in, when I was in crisis, I went to a unit in, I got transferred to Beryton-Edmonds, and I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be there, and one person I owe my absolute life to is, I call her my Aunty Belle, but she's not my real Aunty Belle, I used to work in a pub called the King's Arms in St. Joseph, and Val at the time, was running it with her husband, and I remember my mum phoning her to say, could you take Martin in, and do you know what, they took me in, they looked after me, fed me, watered me, took me to my appointments, make sure I went on time, and, from this day and now, we still talk, and I love, I love, like, Val to fit, I call her, I class her as my real Val, and my real Aunty Val, even though she's not, but, and I always say to her, like, you know, that's one of the days for me that they saved my life, because, instead of me being, look, I'm in the system, they took me, they looked after me, and they, you know, they didn't have to, they didn't know me really for Adam, but they, you know, I stayed with them, and they looked after me, and I will always be grateful for that. *music* [00:22:39] Speaker ?: *music* *music* *music* [00:23:11] Speaker 1: *music* Um, yeah, so, um, yeah, just like I say, if you need help, please, please get help, because I just want to try and, you know, get the word out for people that are all struggling in life, you know, and I know things are hard at the moment with, you know, things going on in the world and stuff like that, but just, just remember, you have got people out there that, you know, just want you to be, um, successful, want you to be happy, you know, it's not about how much money you got in the bank, it's, you know, it's about having something around you that you enjoy doing, and having the people, and the positive people, not the negative people, um, around you, to, you know, get you through this, and like I say, just take one day at a time, you know, and we will get there, you know, and it's okay, remember, it's okay not to be okay sometimes, but when you are struggling, just remember there's loads of support out there, there's, um, you know, there's so many charities out there that will help people who need help, and don't ever feel like, oh, I don't deserve it, I don't, I don't need, you know, there's always someone better off, yes, we're all going to have someone, there's always going to be someone worse off than us, but it doesn't mean that you are not allowed, and you don't deserve the support, and the, um, support, and the help that you need to get through certain challenges in life, you know. That's it. [00:24:52] Speaker 2: It's a bacon and egg, trampling. [00:25:22] Speaker ?: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, don't be free. Now I lay down. Now I lay down. You'll see shame, baby. [00:25:40] Speaker 2: Your hands lay on me, baby. 'Cause I'm not that baby girl. But I gotta take you. [00:25:52] Speaker 1: You just gotta keep going. And just remember, your life is worth so much and so many people out there, you know, it's just amazing to help you. Anyway, I'm not gonna bore you no more 'cause now it's late and I am going to bed because I am shattered 'cause I've been at work today, which has been a very busy day. A great day, but very busy. So I'm tired and I'm now going to go to bed. So goodnight, God bless. Boom! Hi, guys. So it's me, mine again. Just wanna carry on from my last video regarding mental health and the struggles I had and how it made me feel. I also remember, like I say, the first time when I had my, how can I put it? It's hard without saying, going into too much detail. Like going into, well, I say when I was in crisis and it was hard, you know, I remember waking up in the morning and, you know, seeing, lying in the bed and then, I remember in the hospital and having someone I knew who I worked, 'cause I worked in the Trust at the time, having that someone keeping an eye on me, you know. It was hard. It was really, really hard. Did I feel a bit embarrassed? Maybe, yeah, I did a little bit. But in a way, I did feel relieved because, you know, I was glad I was still here. But, yeah, getting the help. Sorry about the camera. Getting the help and the support I needed was major for me. So, I say to a lot of people, I say to a lot of people, like, you know, don't feel ashamed when you're in crisis because, you know, it's, you know, there is people that love you out there. You know, and I remember, like, a second time when I'm, well, sort of like, back in crisis again. 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It was frightening because, you know, actually being taken into, like, the 136, which is a place where you go for, um, place of safety. And I, it was, it was just down the road from where my dad's come was. Um, I mean, don't get me wrong. The people, they were fantastic and really loving it. Um, and I remember my mum and dad coming up. Um, my dad and my brother coming up to get me. Bye. [00:33:34] Speaker ?: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. [00:36:04] Speaker 3: So it's mainly, so there's certain brown marks that are on the white side of the white side. [00:36:11] Speaker ?: A little bit less, like, not one of a very close. 140. [00:36:19] Speaker 1: Okay, I'll say 140. [00:36:21] Speaker 3: Do you have to take a card or do you? Yeah, you can take that card. Oh, catch, we've seen it boys. Yeah, that's too big. But that's smaller than that. [00:36:50] Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. [00:36:54] Speaker ?: Yeah, that's very cool. [00:36:56] Speaker 1: I think, at one point, not many things were actually everything ever made. [00:37:11] Speaker 3: I was quite lucky enough to, you know, run the lights. I was quite lucky enough to, you know, go back home and be looked after. [00:37:35] Speaker 1: But the whole point of this video, basically, it's a bit wishy-washy, but I just want to make people aware of, like, you know, going to hospital, even if it's just for the day and then coming back home, depending on how long you've been in hospital, they are very scary places. But you've got to remember there, people that are very professional now, like the job I do now, we're there to support anybody that's in crisis. You know, and like I say, don't feel ashamed, don't feel embarrassed, you know, because everyone in life, at some point, hopefully it might be in crisis or get into, you know. But just, my only thing I want to do, by talking about my story and stuff, is I just want to make people more, be more aware, you know, and just don't try and mask it. Because the thing is, to be honest with you, I mask a lot of my struggles in life. And, I think, try not to mask it, try and find someone that you can trust and talk to, you know, and like I say, everyone in this world deserves to have the support and the love they deserve, you know. And for me, doing the job I do, it's, I always had a saying when I say to people, regarding mental health, is to, in a way, it sounds really a bit ironic, but I think to myself, the best way to describe mental health is, to fully understand it, you need to be, go through some form of crisis to sympathize and understand what it's like. And, but don't be ashamed of it, because, I will say, just, I'm not ashamed of when I struggled with my, when I do struggle with mental health, you know, and I think, as well, just to try and find things that you really love, enjoy and do it again. And that's the key, the key thing about it is, you know, surround yourself with all the positive people around you, stay away from all the negative people, because you don't need that in life. No one needs anyone negative and just, you know, believe in yourself. There's sex men. Wow. Nice. Just picked up him. Picked up him. [00:40:16] Speaker 3: Oh, Paulie. Yeah. [00:40:18] Speaker 1: Oh, Father Dean. Ah. [00:40:20] Speaker 3: He gave me that. [00:40:21] Speaker 1: Tommy Gunn. [00:40:22] Speaker 3: Oh, Tommy Gunn. Rocky Five. Very nice, man. Very nice. Everyone's sporting the old OG2s. They're pretty. Thank you. [00:41:01] Speaker ?: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. [00:42:31] Speaker 1: With the time and the help and the talking, talking's a massive part of the hearing process. This is, you know, talking is our biggest tool we have as people. I think it's our voice box. You know, and, you know, just, yeah, it's just, you know, just, if you are struggling in life or anything, you know, just, please, please, just, you know, get the help, ask for help. You know, you know, there's some amazing people call, yeah, so I just want to get the message out, really. So, yeah, so I look a bit rough on the edges around today. But, yeah, now, working on a metal holdboard, I love, which I absolutely love doing, I love doing it, but it can, at the same time, much as I love doing the job I do, it's fantastic. It can be draining, but that's not in a negative way. It's like, the best thing I get from doing the job I do is the fact is, talking to people is massive, it's fantastic. And the one thing I would say about my job I love doing is, the fact is, when I've had someone in the hospital and then suddenly I'm, they get discharged or they go home, the best feeling I get is when I go out, say, like, if I'm doing shopping or something, and I see this person who I've nursed or looked after or supported in the ward, getting on with their life. That is, for me, is the best feeling in life, knowing that they've gone through this dark spell in their life, and now they've come out the other side, and they're actually enjoying life again, and that's the most important thing for me. Anyway, I don't know what else to say, because I get a bit camera shy, so I hope that's okay, and I will hopefully see you again soon. [00:44:50] Speaker ?: I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. I'll see you again soon. [00:47:33] Speaker 2: I'll see you again soon. [00:47:35] Speaker ?: I'll see you again soon. [00:47:35] Speaker 2: I'll see you again soon. [00:47:39] Speaker ?: Amen.