Extended Cut: Savannah Guthrie's Three-Part Conversation With Hoda Kotb

[0:00] take me back to the day it was i guess a normal weekend for you yeah the weekend your mom went [0:06] missing tell me what you were doing and what happened uh well we just mike i had given mike [0:11] for christmas a boy's trip to go play tennis and so he had been gone for the weekend so i took my [0:16] kids actually to carson's so we had a beautiful fun night together and then i came home and really [0:24] it just got home at the same time that mike came home and we were just saying hi putting down our [0:28] stuff and the kids are running around and my sister called me and i said is everything okay [0:38] and she said no she said mom's missing and i said what yeah what are you talking about [0:46] she said she's gone and we she was in a panic i was in a panic i'm like call 9-1-1 she's like i [0:57] did we called them they're here and we thought that she must have had like some kind of medical [1:06] episode in the night and that somehow you know the paramedics had come uh because the back doors [1:13] were propped open you know and that didn't make any sense we thought maybe they came and there was [1:20] a stretcher and they took her out the back but her phone was there and her purse was there and all [1:26] her things and it just didn't make any sense so you know annie and tommy had already called all [1:34] the hospitals but then i'm like i'm gonna call the hospital [1:37] so then i started calling the hospitals and and the police were there and talking to her at the [1:43] same time and it was just chaos and disbelief within hours savannah was making the long journey [1:50] home to tucson you saw annie and cam when you got yeah to their house tell me about that moment just [1:59] disbelief and hugging each other and i think we were on the phone with the sheriff and trying to [2:06] you know really [2:08] make clear as i mean from the very early moments you know annie and tommy were saying this isn't [2:15] this isn't that case that you are used to where someone wanders off she can't wander off [2:22] my mom her her she was in tremendous pain her back was very bad you know [2:29] she was trying to on a good day she could walk down to the mailbox and get the mail but most [2:34] days not so there was no wander off and the doors were popped open [2:40] bin yeah and there was blood on the front doorstep and the ring camera had been yanked off yeah and so [2:50] we were saying this is do something this is not okay yeah this isn't something is very wrong here [2:59] yeah did you guys talk about what possibly could have happened like what could have happened [3:07] what went down did you i think my brother i mean my siblings are so amazing my brother you know he's [3:20] spent his career in the military and worked in intelligence and a fighter pilot and is brilliant [3:32] and he saw very clearly right away what this was and even on the phone [3:42] when i called him he knew and he said i think she's been kidnapped for ransom and i said yeah [3:53] well why what and then i mean it sounds so like how dumb could i be but i just [4:02] i didn't want to believe i just said do you think because of me i said i'm sorry sweetie but yeah [4:17] maybe i knew that you did i hope not i mean we still don't know honestly we don't know anything [4:29] we don't know anything so i don't know that it's because she's my mom and somebody thought [4:43] oh that girl that lady has money we can get make a quick buck i mean would make sense but we don't [4:52] know but yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know [4:52] maybe even though i see it in the screen like guys is it wrong and i'm like and then when [5:01] problah makes a scene and you yeah that's probably which is to think that i got this to her bedside [5:17] that it's because of me and i just say i'm so sorry mommy i'm so sorry i'm sorry to my sister [5:26] and my brother and my kids and my nephew and tommy brother-in-law just i'm like so sorry i'm so sorry [5:41] if it is me i'm so sorry we want to thank all of you for the prayers for our beloved mom in the [5:47] when your sister and brother sat together [5:51] in all the despair you sat [5:52] and managed to think of words to say. [5:55] Were you able to do that in that moment? [6:00] Well, my siblings are amazing and we are a unit. [6:11] And I talked about how brilliant my brother is, [6:14] but my sister is equally brilliant [6:17] and also has special powers of intuition [6:24] and faith and language and heart. [6:32] And I feel like we came together [6:37] with all these beautiful gifts that came from our mom [6:42] and dad and from God. [6:44] And somehow together, we did our best [6:49] to come up with the words to say. [6:55] And I haven't posted one thing or said one thing [7:01] that the three of us haven't decided together. [7:06] It is surreal. [7:07] It's how is it possible that we are having to make a video [7:15] speaking to a kidnapper who took an 84-year-old woman [7:25] in the dead of night in her pajamas with no shoes, [7:33] without her medicine, this little person, [7:39] and to beg for mercy. [7:42] In the days that followed, [7:43] multiple notes demanding payment [7:46] were sent to various media outlets. [7:49] The ransom note. [7:50] Did you believe those were real? [7:52] Did you believe those to be real? [7:55] There are a lot of different notes, I think, that came. [7:58] And I think most of them, it's my understanding, are not real. [8:03] And I didn't see them. [8:06] But, you know, the person that would send a fake ransom note [8:15] really has to look deeply at themselves to a family in pain. [8:21] I believe the two notes that we received, that we responded to, [8:33] I tend to believe those are real. [8:34] Yeah. [8:35] Really? [8:35] When the ring camera video surfaced [8:42] and you could see who that person was, [8:49] just tell me what you thought when you saw those images [8:53] of the person who took your mother. [8:59] I mean, it's just absolutely terrifying. [9:02] Yeah. [9:02] It's just totally terrifying. [9:09] And I can't imagine [9:11] that that is who she saw standing over her bed. [9:22] Yeah. [9:26] And I'm glad and grateful to the investigators. [9:30] and the technology companies that were able to find that video [9:35] to, I hope, at least with people of good heart and compassion, [9:44] stop the irresponsible and cruel speculation [9:52] that had started to swirl. [9:55] Let's talk about that for a minute. [9:58] I'm glad that people saw what came to our door. [10:04] When you talk about the cruel speculation, the whispers, [10:14] the innuendo, that it was somebody in your family, [10:18] how did you weather that? [10:20] It's unbearable, and it piles pain upon pain. [10:35] There are no words. There are no words. [10:41] I don't understand. I'll never understand. [10:48] And no one took better care. [10:50] My mom and my sister and brother-in-law. [10:57] No one protected my mom more than my brother. [11:00] We love her, and she is our shining light. [11:06] She's our matriarch. She's all we have. [11:09] Savannah and her family stayed together in Arizona for weeks [11:14] as the media coverage grew more intense. [11:16] We had to move. [11:17] We moved houses many times because people came, [11:22] and not everyone is respectful, unfortunately. [11:28] You know? [11:30] There was a night we had to leave in the dark, in the desert, [11:37] holding hands, me and my sister and brother and I, [11:40] get into a car waiting for us [11:43] because the people outside were closing in. [11:51] So we found a place that was safe, [11:55] and then we couldn't really leave too much. [12:01] So, like, those days are a blur. [12:03] Yeah. [12:04] Crying and praying. [12:06] How did your family feel about the way the investigation was conducted? [12:11] Well, it's still going. [12:14] Yeah. [12:16] And people have worked tirelessly, tirelessly, [12:23] and we see that. [12:27] But we need answers. [12:35] We cannot be at peace without knowing. [12:38] And someone can do the right thing. [12:43] And it is never too late to do the right thing. [12:48] Our hearts are focused on that. [12:50] Mm-hmm. [12:50] You speak about your mom always in the present tense. [12:56] Yeah. [12:57] I mean, she is present tense to me. [13:05] Do you feel her, or have you heard her any moments? [13:10] A little bit. [13:16] Tell me about your mommy. [13:17] Just tell me about her. [13:19] My mom is, she's incredible. [13:21] She's resolute and strong, quiet strength, quiet faith. [13:31] She's funny, a little extremist, I would say, in her humor. [13:44] Mm-hmm. [13:45] She's a noble creature. [13:46] Mm-hmm. [13:46] She does what's right. [13:49] She walks in faith, but not fake, pious, put-on faith, [13:59] but, like, a grounded, earthy, she-fought-for-it faith. [14:07] When you posted, please pray, in the beginning, [14:12] the ocean of love and prayers, did you feel that? [14:19] Did you sense what was happening? [14:21] I do feel prayers, you know? [14:24] I do. [14:24] I believe that. [14:25] Mm-hmm. [14:26] I think she would have been just like, oh, my God. [14:27] Just amazed. [14:28] Just truly amazed. [14:30] One of the images that stayed with me through all of this [14:33] was you and Annie and Tommaso walking up and looking [14:40] at the flowers and at the notes. [14:43] As I saw that, I thought, I wonder if Savannah's going inside [14:48] and what that must have felt like for you to go inside [14:51] of your mom's, your child at home, your mom's house. [14:55] Yeah. [14:56] I mean, this is the house that we grew up in. [15:00] It's really the only house I've ever known and remember. [15:04] We moved there when I was about four, I think. [15:08] It's the house where I came home on a Friday night at 16, [15:14] and my mom and sister were on the couch praying [15:17] and told me that my father had died. [15:19] It's the house where all of our memories are, good and bad, [15:26] so it's hallowed ground. [15:31] My mom loved and treasured that house in good years [15:38] and lean years. [15:39] They were able to hold onto that house. [15:41] It's my mom's safe haven. [15:46] It was really hard to see that alien terror, [15:57] terror that she must have felt. [16:02] It's unbearable. [16:03] It's unbearable. [16:09] Tell me, while you were spending all this time in Tucson, [16:16] your kids were home. [16:18] What do they know? [16:19] It's so hard with kids because, you know, [16:26] you want to protect them. [16:28] They all would write me all the time, [16:32] Mama, any leads? [16:35] Any leads? [16:36] Did you hear anything? [16:37] You know, any? [16:39] No. [16:41] Any hope? [16:46] I think that, you know, we tried to talk to them [16:54] and try to give them a little more certainty than we have [17:01] to let them grieve. [17:04] And for my little nephew, Olmo, too, you know, [17:08] there's just a way in which this is even so much harder. [17:15] And Annie and Tommy and Olmo, because they're there. [17:18] They're there, yeah. [17:20] And they were there every day for my mom. [17:24] They made it possible for her to stay. [17:28] And the house we grew up in that she loved so much, [17:31] I think she always stayed in that house [17:33] because I think she still felt my father there. [17:38] All our memories, you know, let her have her space. [17:45] And it's just a way in which this is just [17:49] even more excruciating for them [17:55] and all that they've been through. [17:57] I know it was a hard decision for you, [18:00] and I know you told me about this, [18:02] was coming back here, leaving Arizona [18:06] to come back to New York. [18:07] Why was that so difficult, that choice? [18:10] Well, I looked out the window of the airplane [18:15] and just thought, where? [18:17] Desert, a beautiful desert that she loves. [18:26] Where are you? [18:27] Could I leave you? [18:32] My mom taught me a lot about grief. [18:37] Our family knows grief. [18:40] My father passed when I was 16 years old. [18:44] He was only 49. [18:45] It was a shock. [18:47] And I remember my mom saying in those early days [18:54] when Daddy died, like, you have to get up [18:59] and decide and do. [19:03] Just decide and do. [19:05] And she had read that in a book [19:08] that meant a lot to her and her grief. [19:12] And so I remember, I always remember that. [19:17] So I'm trying to decide and do. [19:19] Decide and do. [19:20] Just get up and decide and do every day. [19:23] You know, I've felt terrible grief, [19:29] and I've felt fathomable love and comfort. [19:35] The goodness and kindness of God is remarkable. [19:42] And in equal measure to my sorrow. [19:48] She showed us how to survive the unimaginable. [19:54] When she lost my dad, she was 46 years old. [19:57] She had three kids. [20:00] She had never worked outside the home. [20:04] She had to get up. [20:05] She had to find a job. [20:08] She had to mother two teenagers and one young adult, [20:13] just starting making his way into the world. [20:16] She took care of her mother, her brother, [20:22] who had Down syndrome. [20:26] She invited to come live with us. [20:30] She worked part-time to make ends kind of meet. [20:39] She found a way, another job, [20:45] a job she turned into a full-time job, [20:47] a job she turned into a career. [20:49] She had a second life of purpose and meaning. [20:56] She had a million friends. [21:00] She stayed strong for us. [21:05] She was resolute. [21:08] She was real. [21:11] She grieved. [21:13] I remember moments in my childhood [21:17] and those days after my dad died. [21:21] She was so strong. [21:22] But some mornings before dawn, [21:25] when she thought we were still sleeping, [21:28] I would hear her crying at my door [21:30] to not be alone in her grief. [21:33] She taught me to be strong. [21:40] Mm-hmm. [21:43] But she taught me to be true. [21:49] My faith is strong and resolute. [21:51] Mm-hmm. [21:58] Early on, that I heard [22:01] for one of the very few times in my life, [22:08] I did hear God speak to me. [22:12] As I said to myself, [22:22] I can handle anything. [22:23] I can do anything. [22:25] I can handle anything, God. [22:26] I can handle anything. [22:27] I just can't handle not knowing. [22:29] I can't handle not knowing. [22:32] Yeah. [22:33] I have to know. [22:36] And I heard a voice that said, [22:42] you do know where she is. [22:47] She's with me. [22:50] She's with me. [22:51] So whether she is on this earth step [22:59] or whether she is in heaven, [23:01] I know where she is. [23:06] I know who she's with. [23:08] We... [23:14] Yes. [23:15] ...need to know. [23:16] Did you wrestle with your faith throughout this? [23:20] You're resolute and strong like your mama. [23:22] But did you, at some point during all of this, [23:27] have to wrestle with it? [23:28] Yes. [23:29] Yeah. [23:30] And I'm not done. [23:31] Mm. [23:35] God doesn't tell us not to wrestle with Him. [23:37] This isn't some cheap faith. [23:43] And my mom taught me that. [23:49] God only requires our authentic presence. [23:53] Mm. [23:54] And that He has. [23:57] Mm. [23:58] But I never doubted. [24:00] Mm-hmm. [24:01] One of my mom's best friend told me [24:03] that she had been going through a hard time, [24:05] and she said to my mom, [24:09] how have you upped your faith all these years? [24:14] Why? [24:16] Losing your husband, [24:17] all the different things that my mom had been through. [24:20] Like, how, Nancy, how do you keep your faith? [24:23] And my mom said to her, [24:26] well, where else would I go? [24:28] I hold that with me. [24:34] But faith is how I will stay connected to my mom. [24:41] God is how I'm holding hands with my mom. [24:46] And I won't let sadness win. [24:51] She taught me. [24:55] See, I saw her grieve. [24:59] I saw her world shatter. [25:02] I saw it. [25:05] Mm-hmm. [25:07] And I saw her get up. [25:08] Mm-hmm. [25:09] And I saw her believe. [25:10] Mm-hmm. [25:12] And I saw her love. [25:14] And I saw her hope. [25:15] Mm-hmm. [25:16] And I saw her smile. [25:17] Mm-hmm. [25:18] And I saw her laugh. [25:20] I saw her joy. [25:22] I saw her love of the world and adventure. [25:25] I saw her belief. [25:26] Mm-hmm. [25:27] I saw her faith. [25:28] She taught me. [25:31] Taught all of us. [25:34] And I may not do it as well as her, [25:39] but I will do it. [25:40] I will do it for my kids. [25:43] I will. [25:45] I will not fall apart. [25:48] I will not let whoever did this [25:53] take my children's mother from them. [25:55] I will not let them take my joy. [25:57] They will not take my sister's joy. [26:01] They will not take my brother's joy. [26:03] They will not take our love. [26:06] They will not take our faith. [26:11] But our anguish is real. [26:12] Mm-hmm. [26:13] We need help. [26:14] Yeah. [26:16] We need someone to tell the truth. [26:19] Mm-hmm. [26:20] Yes. [26:22] I have no anger in my heart. [26:28] I have hope in my heart. [26:31] I have love. [26:32] Mm-hmm. [26:35] That this family needs peace. [26:36] Yes. [26:37] Yes. [26:38] I don't think we deserve anything more [26:41] or less than any other person. [26:43] Mm-hmm. [26:44] We don't say, [26:45] Mm-hmm. [26:46] Why us? [26:48] Why me? [26:49] Why anything? [26:50] If I say why me for this horrible thing, [26:51] then I have to say why me [26:52] for all the beautiful blessings of my life. [26:53] Mm-hmm. [26:54] Yeah. [26:55] Well, then, yes. [26:56] Why? [26:57] I don't know why. [26:59] I'm grateful for my blessings. [27:02] And I'm heartbroken for this sorrow. [27:07] I'm heartbroken. [27:08] Yes. [27:12] I am crushed, but I am not abandoned. [27:14] Yes. [27:15] And we are not alone until we need an answer. [27:20] And someone has it in their power to help. [27:25] It is never too late. [27:27] And when you do, the warmth of love and forgiveness [27:33] that will come will be greater than can be imagined. [27:42] I know what it is to be forgiven. [27:44] Mm-hmm. [27:48] Yes. [27:49] And there is no greater joy. [27:50] Yes. [27:51] And that joy awaits. [27:53] Mm-hmm. [27:56] Whoever can hear this and find it in their heart to help. [27:59] You're focusing on people in Tucson. [28:04] Somebody there must have seen or known something [28:06] and maybe forgot about it or didn't pay attention to it. [28:09] How can someone vanish... [28:11] Yeah. [28:12] ...without a trace? [28:13] Yeah. [28:14] How? [28:16] Someone knows something. [28:17] Even if that something is someone's been acting strange [28:24] for the last seven, eight weeks, [28:26] even if it's just that, somebody knows. [28:30] Mm-hmm. [28:33] Maybe somebody's afraid. [28:36] I understand that. [28:39] Our hearts are in agony. [28:47] We can't breathe. [28:50] We can't live. [28:51] We can't go on. [28:54] We can't be at peace. [28:57] We can't go forward. [28:58] I have to know what happened to her. [29:03] You talked about coming back to New York. [29:07] One of the other enduring images for me [29:10] was walking into Studio 1A and seeing you there, [29:14] speaking to everybody. [29:17] What was it like for you walking back in there? [29:21] I really wanted to come and see everybody. [29:26] I just love this beautiful place that we call home, [29:37] where we get to come and be every day. [29:41] And I know how much people have prayed for me and loved me. [29:54] All the people that you see on TV. [29:57] Mm-hmm. [29:59] And then all the people that you don't. [30:01] All the notes and messages that I have received. [30:06] So beautiful. [30:10] I just wanted to be with my family. [30:12] I wanted to be with my family, too. [30:16] You said something when you were there, [30:19] and you said, I don't know how to come back, [30:22] and I don't know how not to come back. [30:25] Yeah. [30:27] That's how I feel when I look at the Today show, [30:36] which is the answer to all my dreams, [30:39] actually better than my dreams. [30:42] So how about coming back? [30:43] I know everyone's wondering. [30:46] So it's hard to imagine doing it, [30:49] because it's such a place of joy [30:52] and happiness. [30:57] And I come back and try to be something that I'm not. [31:04] But I can't not come back, because it's my family. [31:10] I think it's part of my purpose right now. [31:14] I want to smile. [31:19] And when I do, it will be real. [31:25] And my joy will be my protest. [31:30] My joy will be my answer. [31:37] And being there is joyful. [31:42] And when it's not, I'll say so. [31:46] And I have been so grateful to have this family. [31:52] This is my family, my greater family. [31:56] And when times are hard, you want to be with your family. [32:00] And I want to be with my family. [32:02] And so I don't know if I can do it. [32:08] I don't know if I'll belong anymore. [32:12] But I would like to try. [32:15] I would like to try. [32:20] I'm not going to be the same. [32:23] Maybe it's like that old poem, [32:29] more beautiful in the broken places. [32:32] I mean, that was put perfectly. [32:39] And Jenna, I feel like I just want [32:41] to talk to you because there's no one at this table [32:43] who's closer to Savannah than you. [32:45] You guys are like sisters. [32:47] And I just wanted you to say a few words. [32:50] Well, I just want to say everything she said to you [32:53] over the last two days is perfectly Savannah. [32:56] She has been braver than I can even imagine. [33:00] She has been so vulnerable. [33:02] I mean, she took her pain, her heart, her faith, [33:06] her family in the midst of her despair. [33:09] She laid it on the table for all of us. [33:11] She didn't have to do that. [33:13] She didn't. [33:14] And she has. [33:15] And I think of all of those people who have had heartbreak, [33:19] they feel seen. [33:20] I was thinking that, too, because she [33:22] said she has a purpose. [33:23] And I was thinking, if you can come here and sit here [33:26] and do this job through that, you [33:29] are showing something incredible. [33:30] And I think a lot of people are wondering, well, [33:33] when is she coming back? [33:34] Well, she is coming back to this job [33:37] that she loves here today. [33:38] And we're glad to say that she will start here. [33:40] Sitting next to this wonderful human being, Craig, [33:45] Monday, April the 6th. [33:47] Because she is not going to let sadness win. [33:50] Joy is going to be her protest. [33:52] It is where she belongs. [33:54] It's where we all want her to be. [33:56] We cannot wait to welcome her back with open arms [34:00] here in Studio 1E. [34:02] There's not been a day that's passed since all of this [34:04] went down where someone has not come up to me. [34:06] And then someone said, when's Savannah coming back? [34:08] When's Savannah coming back? [34:09] Yes. [34:10] When's Savannah coming back? [34:11] On the 6th. [34:12] And what's wonderful is that it's almost symbolic. [34:15] After Easter and the resurrection are rising. [34:17] Yes. [34:18] Yes. [34:19] I think as a family we'll hold hands and help her. [34:21] I had not thought about that. [34:22] Yes. [34:23] Of course you did, Mr. Roser. [34:24] And she had, of course, too. [34:25] Of course. [34:26] Of course. [34:27] And I think from her point of view, too, I was thinking, [34:30] imagine if all of your life is so chaotic, [34:33] there's a place to come that's normal. [34:35] Like this is for her a normal pillar in her life. [34:39] She has all of our support. [34:41] We can't wait to give it back to her. [34:43] I do think we should mention something else here before we take a quick break. [34:48] You've sat here for a few weeks. [34:50] You've got a lot happening in your life. [34:52] You've got two girls you're rearing by yourself. [34:54] You've got a company you're running. [34:56] And when the coach called and they said, [34:58] we need somebody to come in and pinch you, [35:00] you didn't bat an eye. [35:02] And we needed you. [35:04] Oh, I love you. Thank you. Thank you. [35:06] You know what? That's why when we say family, we mean it. [35:08] And when Savannah comes back on the 6th, [35:11] which is going to be a beautiful reunion for you guys. [35:13] Hey, thanks for watching. [35:15] And don't forget, you can catch The Today Show every morning on NBC [35:18] or take Today when you're on the go. [35:21] Just follow The Today Podcast on Apple Podcasts, [35:24] Spotify, or wherever you listen.